A World Apart
by Zencreation
Summary: AU Highschool setting: Squall is an artist with a terrible secret, Seifer is an abused boy in search of himself. Each copes in thier own way, but they soon discover they are stronger together instead of being a world apart.
1. Happy Beginnings

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Final Fantasy VIII, however I do intend on using them for my own selfish amusement!!!

**A World Apart**

**Chapter 1**

The sun shone brightly onto the kitchen floor in such a way that it was obviously going to be a gorgeous day outside, even though the summer was over.

Squall ambled sleepily to the refrigerator to grab the milk. Yawning quietly, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, not really wanting the day to begin but knowing it was inevitable. School was like that; something that filled in the years between teenager and adult, though he tended to think it was just a way to keep them occupied and bored to tears so that when they finally graduated they'd be grateful enough to take what ever role life offered them. It wasn't fair when you already knew what you wanted to do; having already found what it was that made life bearable.

Grumpily, he poured the milk and began to pick at his cereal; he didn't look up when the back door opened, it was just his dad coming home from his early morning jog. Not sparing a glance as his hair was ruffled, Squall instead absentmindedly smoothed it back into place, his eyes telling his father that he was off elsewhere.

'Probably not to happy about school,' Laguna thought to himself as he went to go take a shower before heading to the office.

Squall got up, dumping his half-eaten cereal into the garbage disposal, and rinsed his bowl before putting into the dishwasher. The housekeeper wasn't due till Friday, so he did his part to help keep things semi-decent – couldn't have her leaping off the balcony because she came back to a huge mess, 'that wouldn't look too good in the papers'. The thought brought a smile to his lips as he pondered just what the tabloids might say…

God, he was becoming as dark and gloomy as his art – if that's what you could call it these days, for it seemed the only art he could now produce was of the ominous and depressing variety. He really had to get out more instead of locking himself away, though it was hard to go out and have fun when you only had one friend and no likely prospects for any more in the near future.

Shaking his head, he started the dishwasher and glanced at the clock that sat on the breakfast bar. Dammit! He'd done it again, having spaced out for almost ten minutes that time. Squall swore a little under his breath, and began a slow ascent up the stairs to his room, the largest on the second floor, which he used both as a bedroom and a studio.

Opening the door to his room was like walking through a portal to another world, everywhere was evidence of his talent, the walls being nothing more than another canvas to him, and he had painted a different mural on each wall.

The wall to the left depicted a brightly-lit, wind-swept field of swaying grass strewn with beautiful pink and red flowers whose petals danced on the unseen wind along with feathers. He had no idea why he'd added the feathers, it just…seemed right at the time, and he had to admit that it added a certain something to the picture. Topping it off was a sky so blue and clouds so white that it was startling to look at, as if you could almost walk into that field beneath that sky and feel the wind.

The wall to the right portrayed the raging sea at the height of a storm; its white-capped waves driven by a fierce wind as the dark and pendulous clouds poured rain over the wild ocean. Squall hadn't meant for it to turn out like that, but his mother died while he was in the middle of painting it, and as such it had become an outlet for his anger and sorrow. The mural had soothed him and so he just left it.

The door, as it closed behind him, seemed to melt into a steamy jungle scene, with a variety of animals hiding beneath the forested canopy: birds frozen in mid-call and monkeys caught in mid-swing. The most dominating and intimidating part of this mural, however, had to be the gigantic Black Panther whose eyes glared from the painting with ferocious menace. Zell had often complained that it was looking at him, which had only made Squall laugh. To him in represented the hostility and danger that lay outside that door. Yes, he loved his room and it showed, of course the only people who ever saw it were his family and his best friend Zell.

The huge pair of French doors covered in gauzy white curtains that led out onto the balcony occupied the final wall. Not his most favorite of places but it gave him the perfect lighting to paint in, without it he would have had to install some track lighting, which would ruin everything he had tried to create here…

Sighing heavily, Squall moved to the closet to try and put together a half way decent outfit to wear – not that he cared much about his appearance, it was just easier that way to avoid a few of the stares he received.

Being only 5'8 at seventeen with a mass of chocolate colored hair that always appeared to be messy and a lean body that, no matter what he did, always seemed to be slightly feminine, he was always the subject of stares. Hazing too, though that part his dad didn't know about, and he wasn't about to tell him either.

Not wanting to get caught up in another monologue, Squall concentrated on finding clothes, finally deciding on a black pair of jeans and T-shirt that hugged his body firmly. At least when he wore tight clothing there was little doubt that he was a guy, not that it mattered much to those that tormented him.

The shrill ringing of the phone in his room made his jump and he hastily reached for it, already knowing who was on the other end, "I know, I know, I'm running a little late – I'm coming," he said without bothering to even say hello first.

Swiftly running a comb through his hair and grabbing his backpack from the front hall, Squall dashed out to the sidewalk and began walking in the direction that Zell would be waiting…

Zell saw him coming over the hill and waved his hands frantically, trying to get his friend to move out of the way as he careened down the sidewalk on his skateboard…but Squall was lost in thought, again. Rather than plow into his best friend, Zell decided to do the noble thing and steered himself into Mrs. Roper's hedge, comically sticking halfway out of it like a cartoon character with twigs digging painfully into him as he tried to wrestle free before an unaware Squall left him behind.

Finally succeeding, he grabbed his skateboard, "Hey, yoo-hoo… you in there somewhere Squall my man?"

Confusion seemed to cloud his face, as Zell jarred him from his thoughts, "Huh? Oh Zell, sorry, just kinda lost today I guess."

Shaking his head at his friend of at least twelve years, Zell quickly decided that Squall was beyond help. He should know – he'd spent many of those twelve years trying.

Together they walked in companionable silence toward the brick and mortar prison that would be their private hell for the next year. Zell could already see last year's football team assembling on the quad near the front doors, and it made him desperately want to just turn around and go home…but his mom would just send him back. So, doing his best to look nonchalant, he flipped up his board with his foot and caught it in his hand as they prepared to cross the street.

The sounds of kids yelling and talking, and, in the case of the girls, screaming their damn fool heads off as they saw other girls they hadn't seen since summer, permeated the air – as did the stinking fumes left behind by the buses as they dropped off their wards at the front door.

Squall took none of it in; he was too busy thinking about why he even bothered to come here at all anymore. God knows he didn't want to go, it was hell and torture beyond cruelty, just another reason to create his own world through painting; at least there he was the master of all he purveyed…

Zell steered him around the buses and away from the football players by every once in a while tugging him the right direction via his backpack. Squall had gotten this thing last year about being touched – he hated it. Only his dad could touch him and get away with it. Zell didn't pretend to understand it but he did comply with his friend's wishes. The one time he did touch Squall – just a friendly arm across his shoulders – he'd gotten a look so frightening that he never risked it again.

As they entered the building, Squall was pulled out of his monologue by the familiar smell of dusty books, fresh paint and unidentifiable cafeteria food assaulting his senses.

He glanced at Zell who just blew out a deep breath, "Don't look so depressed, Zell, who knows? Maybe we'll have a fantastic year."

"Hah, yeah ok, and a girl is miraculously going to notice me. In case you don't remember, we're LOSERS and are NEVER going to have a fantastic anything!"

"That was sarcasm Zell, you remember sarcasm, don't you?"

"Oh…right…sarcasm."

Squall rolled his eyes and turned away from his friend…only to run right into what felt like a walking wall.

"UMPH!"

His eyes went wide as he had to look up to see who he had run into, 'Please don't be Shane, please don't be Shane,' he prayed, actually smiling when he finally got to the face and realized that he didn't know him.

Yet, looking into those emerald eyes, Squall felt something akin to an electrical shock go through his system. His smile faltered and he stumbled back, "I…I'm sorry, I wasn't watching…"

The other boy let his gaze linger on him for a second longer before stepping around him and going on his way, not waiting to hear the rest of the apology.

Zell hesitated forward as the boy left, "Damn Squall, you okay?"

"Yeah I'm okay. Hey, you haven't seen him before have you?"

Zell's eyes went wide as he realized that Squall didn't have a clue what was going on. "That was _Seifer Almasy_, dumbass! I thought you were a dead man for sure!" he whispered as they continued down the hall.

"Who?"

**(End Chapter One)**


	2. No Detention Today

**  
  
Chapter 2**

Seifer was already having a bad day and he hadn't even been there an hour. First he'd found out that he was on probation and wouldn't graduate unless he showed some improvement in his grades, and then, when he looked up his class schedule, he'd had the misfortune to discover that that bitch Rinoa was in every last one of them.

'What does this world have against me? I try, I really do, but whatever I do isn't good enough to…UMPH!'

Seifer glanced down at the person who ran into him, his frown dissipating as he took in the sight. 'Wow…what a smile, she's beautiful. And those eyes, you could drown in those eyes...' His reverie was short-lived, however, quickly broken by the soft apology given by the other student, which revealed that SHE was actually a HE.

'Great, as if this day couldn't get any worse, I was about to make a move on a guy!'

Angrily, he stalked down the hall and slammed his fist into an open locker door, smashing it closed from the impact and leaving a nice dent for the person who would next occupy it.

Everyone moved out of his way, most with fear in their eyes – he couldn't say that he didn't like it, because he did, but not for the reason that everyone thought. Instead, it kept them from getting close enough to realize just how scared he was.

His whole miserable life up to this point had been a walking nightmare. A drunken father who beat him every chance he got, which lately was just about everyday, and a whore of a mother that would sleep with anyone she could, provided they paid the rent. All he ever wanted was a loving family and a good home – instead he got this.

Stepping outside, Seifer lit a cigarette, knowing full well that he'd get detention for it if he got caught, but anything was better than going home. He just didn't want to do that anymore – nobody cared and nobody was going to make it change.

His mind wandered back to the smile he'd been given, it had just been a damn smile but it had lit up his world, and for a moment he'd been beautiful. Beauty for him was a something of an oddity, everything around him was always ugly or dirty or cheap…there was no beauty to be seen anywhere. And yet, he'd still recognized it when he saw it for the first time – in another guy. The irony of that was not lost on him.

He'd thought he knew what beauty was when he first saw Rinoa. She was pretty, and smart too, which was why at first he didn't understand what she saw in him, but he realized soon enough – he was a way to make her father angry. She had used him, and then laughed with all her friends afterwards. God, how he hated that bitch. She'd made him feel like life might be worth living after all, only to then take that hope and smash it into a million unrecognizable pieces…

The first bell rang, startling him from his thoughts. He stubbed out his cigarette with the tip of a steel-toed boot, grinding it furiously into the concrete. There would be no detention today, unless he started a fight or he got caught at lunch, either way it made no difference.

His off-white trench coat sailed out behind him as he made his way to his first class, daring anyone to get in his way.

**(End Chapter Two)  
**

A/N: A short Chappie but I had to put Seifer's POV into things…. Hope you like and Review!!


	3. The Thing of Beauty

Chapter 3 

It sucked that Zell wasn't in any of his classes this year, they didn't even have the same lunch period, and he was going to be on his own unless he found a way to transfer into some of them. 

He found the room and went in, handing the teacher his schedule so that she could initial it, and then taking a seat in the back of the room. He hated not having his back against the wall and he silently prayed to who ever would listen that none of his teachers had seating arrangements. 

He failed to notice the giggling group of girls that had turned in their seats looking at him and then whispering intensely to each other. 

"HE is SO CUTE!! Who is he and why haven't we seen him before?" 

A pretty dark haired girl at the front of the group turned in her seat to glance at who they were speaking about, her eyes went wide as she studied him. Soft silky hair, flawless skin with nary a blemish, a set of full sensuous lips that just begged to be kissed he was in a word perfect. The most perfect boy she had ever seen, why had she not seen him before? "Back off girls, I think I just found my date to the junior prom!" 

Whispered words of encouragement and some whining came from the group but Rinoa didn't care, she was in love and that was all that mattered. 

The room filled up rather quickly just as the last bell rang. Squall leaned down to pull out his notebook from his backpack not knowing that he had just been evaluated and found worthy. 

As the teacher was shutting the door a foot was summarily placed in front of it, causing her to pull open the door again. Seifer stepped in handing her his schedule with a smirk, she sighed and initialed it. "Next time Mr. Almasy can you please see that you are on time to my class? I don't like disruptions." 

"Well then you probably aren't going to like me much," he smirked again and headed for the only seat in the room available. 

He ignored the giggles as he passed the group of girls. 

"Oh my God, does he ever leave the coat at home?" 

He ignored the snickers as he sat down glaring straight ahead. 

"You would think that he had enough decency to at least wash his hair once in awhile, I mean the amount of grease slicking his hair back is SO gross!" 

Did they think he was deaf? He wished he was, maybe then he could keep the hot anger he was feeling from rising into his chest, maybe then he wouldn't feel anything. 

He turned his head to look out the window, and saw sitting next to him was the creature of beauty. He didn't seem to be hearing what was going on around him; he seemed to be enthralled by what he was writing in his notebook. He didn't know why but having him so close made things a little more bearable. He turned his head back to the girls and smiled ever so evilly at them that they quickly faced front and quit talking. 

"Alright class may I have your attention please? My name is Mrs. Peterson and what I want you to do is as I pass around this seating chart for you to write you names into the appropriate square. This will be a permanent arrangement unless problems arise. 

Neither one of them knew it but both the boys rejoiced at this news, but for different reasons. 

Seifer held his breath when the seating chart came to the boy with the beautiful smile because he would have to hand it to Seifer, which he did without even looking at him. Seifer slowly let out his breath not really understanding why he suddenly felt disappointed; he quickly scanned to the bottom to find his name. There in the square next to where he would write his name was a signature in calligraphy that could have only come about with much practice. It read Squall Leonheart. Seifer scratched his name in beside his, and looked ashamed as he compared them. His bold blocky letters seemed more like the work of a kindergartener next to that elegant writing. Seifer sighed as he passed it over to the boy sitting to his right. 

It wasn't fair, ugliness that was all he was about, he slumped in his seat just waiting for this day to end but not really wanting it to at the same time. 

When class was over he waited for the girls to leave before standing up, putting his hands over his head to stretch out his aching back. At 6'2" slumping in a high school desk wasn't such a smart idea but it was a habit that he would probably always have. 

He headed for the door only to bump into Squall as he moved out of the next row. He looked down at him and smiled, expecting to see that wonderful smile of his again, but he was to be disappointed. He simply moved around him as if he hadn't even noticed that his path had been obstructed. What had he been expecting? He pushed his thoughts aside angrily, what the hell did it matter? It wasn't as if he was ever going to be able to get close to him, he wasn't a people person. 

By lunch time Squall already had four assignments due by tomorrow, talk about slave drivers, it was just the first day of school, he hung his head, it could only get worse from here. Silently he moved through the line and absently picked up bits of prepackaged food to set on his tray, and then made his way over to a table that was nearly empty. All around him the sounds of kids talking and laughing, being happy in their unaware way of how cruel the world could truly be. He absolutely hated the sounds, because they represented something that he would never have. Scowling he opened up his lunch, stared at if for a moment, then pushed the tray away. Instead he picked up his class schedule scanning it to see what class he had next, when he saw it he inwardly groaned. It was gym, the single most torture a kid could go through when they looked like he did. The endless taunts, the maddening comparisons, the harsh judgments, and lets not get started on the physical punishment, he was actually surprised he had made it to lunch without ending up in a trashcan or run up the flag pole. 

He closed his eyes, dreading what tortures the next hour would bring. Please if someone is listening please, please don't let Shane Wilson be in that class, His most hated and cruelest of his tormentors. Shane once grabbed him into the locker room when the coach wasn't looking and forced him to…to… "GAHH I don't wanna think about it, I don't ever wanna think about it." He put his head down on the table and softly whispered this over and over until tears stung his eyes and he couldn't sit in the cafeteria anymore. He ran out into the courtyard and sat on the bench that went around the big oak tree, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. He laid his head on his arms and silently let the tears fall unaware that he was not alone. 

Seifer couldn't believe it, the thing of beauty, (he had to come up with a better title for him) had just come running out of the cafeteria and was now sitting in a position that he himself was quite familiar with. It was the same one he usually found himself in after "Talking" with his father. It didn't take a genius to figure out he was hurting, it wasn't fair, beautiful things aren't supposed to hurt. 

He was surprised to find himself on his feet, fists clenched so hard they hurt, he was just about to walk over when the door was flung open and Rinoa stepped out. 

Seifer sucked in his breath and moved into the shadows at the corner of the building, watching as the scene unfolded. 

"Hey there! My name is Rinoa, I couldn't help but notice that you left the cafeteria depriving me and my friends the privilege of watching you." 

After a long moment of silence and he still hadn't responded, she wrinkled her nose and looked really hard at him. "Hey, are you alright?" she reached out her hand. 

Seifer didn't know why but he wanted to shout out and tell her not to touch him, but it was too late. 

Hands……. on me…….. someone touching…….. don't touch……… don't please don't……… "STOP FUCKING TOUCHING ME!! GET AWAY FROM ME GO AWAY LEAVE ME ALONE!!" 

Seifer was almost shocked at the display but when he remembered who it was happening to he decided to make things worse for her. He stepped from the corner of the building and walked right up behind her cringing form, "He said to go away, I suggest you comply or else "Darling" I will make you regret it!" It was his best and most sinister voice that he used on her, making her squeal and jump away like a frightened animal. Just to make his point very clear, he reached down inside his boot and pulled the knife he was so infamous for, opening it with a practiced flick of his wrist. When she shrieked and ran back to the door all she heard was his mocking laughter chasing after her, and that was enough. 

His attention diverted back to Squall that now lay on the ground in a fetal position, hands over his ears and tears streaming down his face. He tried clearing his throat but he didn't seem to hear that, and he was becoming worried that others might come out here and see him like this. He didn't want that, so he slipped off the likewise infamous trench coat and covered him with it, painfully aware that he was exposing the cruel truth about his home life in the process, but it was worth it. This was worth protecting HE was worth protecting. He mentally corrected himself, and hurled a silent curse as well for always referring to him as a thing and not a person, he had enough of that to know it would kill someone eventually to never be thought of as a person. 

He slowly revived becoming aware of his surroundings and the strangely scented warmth that surrounded him. He couldn't quite place the scent but when the mental image of the boy he ran into in the hall came to mind he immediately sat up and came face to face with those jade eyes. Instantly he felt that little jolt of electricity again, bringing tingles to his fingers and toes. His heart actually skipped a couple of beats but then returned to its normal rhythm if not a bit quicker. He hastily looked away and noticed that the trench coat the boy had been wearing was now around him, surprisingly enough he didn't feel threatened by that fact. It was sort of comforting in an odd sort of way. He swiped his arm across his face, ridding it of the tears of shame and hurt, and then blushing because he knew he was being watched. 'Why does he have to look at me? I don't wanna explain, please don't ask me questions, please, please.' But his silent pleas went unheard. 

"Better now?" 

He closed his eyes; he didn't know how to answer that, God, why did he have to ask questions. No he was not better and he probably never would be again. But he nodded anyway opening his eyes to stare at the boy's very wide chest. 

"Good" he said as he slid the knife back into his boot, then seeing alarm rise in the boy's haggard face he shrugged. "Not meant for you, just fools who get too close." 

When he really thought about what he said, he realized that it could be construed that he meant those who got too close to Squall, but then found that he didn't mind if that was the way it was taken. He would happily include him in that if just to be close for once in his life to something that wasn't dirty or cheap or ugly…….. 'like me.' he closed his eyes with that thought running through his head. He stood up and offered his hand to Squall without thinking about it. 

Squall didn't know what to make of what he had said. 'Not meant for you' he got that part, it was the last that was giving him trouble. He decided not to think about it anymore he had a headache now and the boy was offering his hand for him to take. He had to decide whether or not to take it. 

Seifer looked down at the offending hand and shoved it into his jeans pocket. Why had he offered it in the first place? 'I must really be losing my mind, he freaked out at Rinoa's touch, what makes you think that he would take you up on the offer of yours? Besides he probably doesn't want to touch something like me anyway so just forget about it already!' 

Squall got up off the ground and removed the trench coat from around his shoulders, sighing regretfully at the sudden loss of warmth, he handed it back to the boy who slid it on. 

"Name's Seifer. Just thought you might want to know." 

"Squall nodded again staring at the ground, "I didn't mean to yell at you……… I just……….." 

"Wasn't me you blew up at," he said shrugging his shoulders. 

"Who then?" his voice almost a whisper now. He was beginning to feel fear in the pit of his stomach; the last thing he wanted was more rumors involving him. 

He laughed bitterly, "Who you yelled at isn't important, her name though you should remember just so that you can stay away from the bitch. Her name is Rinoa Heartilly or as I like to call her Heartlessly. Anyway, she would fuck your world over in a heartbeat if you let her." 

Squall squeezed his eyes shut feeling the sting of fresh tears behind them. 'Great wonderful absolutely perfect!' It had been a girl, and girls gossiped. There was no way in hell he was going to believe that this wouldn't be all over school by the end of lunch. He clenched his hands into fists, feeling his nails dig painfully into his palms piercing his flesh and drawing blood. He didn't want to be here anymore, the air felt stifling and it seemed to be pressing down on him until it was becoming hard to breathe, he had to get out. He turned and ran toward the doors not really seeing them, not really aware of anything other than the fact he couldn't breathe. 

Seifer watched as the boy's fleeing form disappeared through the door. Concern clearly written across his face. What had he said to make him run? He didn't know but it was just like him not to. His father had always told him he was an idiot and a dummy, not capable of even the simplest of tasks why had he thought that this would turn out any different? 

The look of concern quickly turned into a scowl as he turned on his heel slamming his fist into the wall of the building as he made his way to the other set of doors that lay in the opposite direction of the fleeing beauty. Why the fuck should he care? It wasn't his problem, he had too many of his own demons to deal with without trying to take on someone else's too. 

(End Chapter 3)

A/N: Kinda a long one this time……. Hope you are enjoying it so far…….. Questions and Comments are welcome and will be answered as long as you have an e-mail address. As usual all Praise will get to light fireworks on the beach!! All Flames will be set on fire and put to sea!! 


	4. Bitter Memories

**Chapter 4**

Squall suddenly felt the need to vomit rather violently, he ran blindly through the halls on pure memory, praying he would reach the bathroom before spewing what little contents were in his stomach all over the floor. 

His feet carried him unerringly to the boy's bathroom and he just made it, bending over to reacquaint himself with his meager breakfast. Painful spasms wracked his body making his head swim and his knees weak; when they finally passed he sank to the floor shaking uncontrollably. Taking slow and deep breaths he at last managed to get himself under control, just as the first bell rang signaling the end of the lunch period. 

Closing his eyes for a moment, he let his mind wander to thoughts of his beautiful mother with her laughing gray eyes, and wished that she were here to hold him and rock him as she had done when he was little and had been sick. He missed her so damn much that it hurt physically inside, she had always been the one he could talk to about his problems, and no matter what they were she always found a way to make them better, but that was before his problems were this traumatic. She had passed onto a better life only a measly three months before "IT" happened. 

God, how he wanted to just kill himself and get it over with, he didn't want to live this life anymore. It was torturing him to the very core of his being but he knew why he stayed. The threat had been very clear, he had been made to understand that if he told anyone or disappeared, Zell would be the next to suffer. There was no way he was going to let something like this happen to the only friend he had ever had, and so he stayed. 

He slowly got to his knees and flushed the toilet, not wanting to think about it anymore, there was nothing that he could do about it, so he might as well just give up wishing and hoping that someone would save him from it. One way or another, Shane would find a way to get to him whether or not he was in his classes. There were plenty of opportunities outside of class that he could take advantage of. 

Slowly he made his way to the sink to wash his mouth out, grimacing at the chlorinated taste from the tap, but anything was better than vomit, so he dealt with it. 

He was just making his way out of the bathroom when the warning bell sounded. Great, he was going to be late. Oh well, so the fuck what! He didn't care anymore, he just wanted to get this day over with so that he could go home and lose himself in a painting. 

Firmly planting one foot in front of the other, he finally arrived at the locker room door. Pushing it open, he walked inside, greeted by silence and row after row of gunmetal gray lockers with benches running in between the banks. The benches… he shuddered… his feet on automatic pilot brought him to the middle bank of lockers. The bench…it happened right there, right there was where my world was so violently ripped apart. The memory surfaced and he wanted to die. 

**(FlashBack)**

**The Shock,** someone had him by the hair and was yanking him backwards towards the lockers. 

**The Hands,** that were everywhere it seemed roaming, ripping, tearing his clothes. 

**The Shove,** knocking him forward onto the bench. 

**The Rope,** that secured his legs and then hands so that he kneeled on the bench, bent forward. 

**The Gag,** that prevented his screams from being heard. 

**The Whispers,** in his ears telling him exactly what was going to happen. 

**The Panic** at those words filling him with a dread worse than death. 

**The Struggle** he put up in vain. 

**The Agony** of being split open unprepared. 

**The Shame** of knowing that he was attracted to men and having his attacker tell him that he knew it too. 

**The Terror** of the whispered threat to Zell. 

**The Bitterness** that flowed from him as he cried in the showers watching the blood and semen wash down the drain taking a part of him with it, that he would never get back. 

**(End FlashBack)**

Darkness slowly enveloped him in its warm embrace, the memory being too strong here. He sank down the wall and onto the floor knowing nothing but sweet silent darkness. 

Seifer pushed open the locker room door, still smoking a cigarette hoping he would get caught. He rounded the lockers and stopped dead in his tracks. "What the Fuck?" his words echoing harshly through the room. 

Throwing his cigarette into the shower room he approached the figure on the floor, already knowing who it was before he turned him over. "Squall? Hey wake up." Getting no response he sat on the floor and pulled Squall's limp form into his lap, suddenly very afraid for the beautiful boy. Panic threatened to consume him as again he tried in vain to wake him. Had he hit his head? Was he doing more harm by holding him? He didn't know and it was frustrating him beyond belief that he didn't. Hauling him higher he wrapped his arms around him carefully watching his face for any signs of his returning consciousness, when he found none, he began slowly rocking him. Wanting desperately to wake him from his slumber, he was scared shitless for him, and didn't know what else to do. 

Squall began to rise out of the misty darkness, but he struggled unwilling to let it go, the outside world hurt too much and he wanted to stay here where nothing could hurt him anymore, but the darkness refused him and pushed him higher into conscious thought. Sensations of arms and rocking came to him, confusing as they were. He thought of his mother but there was something off about the arms that held him so tightly. His mother had never done that, and then there was that annoying smell of tobacco, which he hated, his mother didn't smoke. Spiraling higher, he heard his name in a distinctly male voice, little more than a husky whisper but deep enough to identify. His father didn't smoke either, so who was this? The Hands! The Whispers! NO! NO! NO! STOP, STOP PLEASE NO! 

Seifer was caught off guard as the still boy suddenly came alive in his grasp and began to struggle violently against him. His fists connecting solidly in more places than one, but he didn't mind, compared to his father this kid was a lightweight. He looked down at Squall's eyes and saw nothing but complete and utter terror registering there. A look he was also very intimate with and by the way he was reacting Seifer knew that he wasn't seeing the present anyway, just reliving a very horrible nightmare. Like the ones he suffered from almost every single night. He began to rock him again, holding the struggling youth tighter to his chest. "Shhhh it's okay Squall, it's me… Seifer… you're okay… you are gonna be fine… just trust me… Shhhh." God, how many times had we wished he had someone there to hold him in the middle of the night after one of his beatings. It felt strange and foreign to be giving the very comfort he craved to someone else, but at the moment Squall needed it more than he did, so he continued. 

Seifer's soft words and gentle rocking slowly began to register with Squall. He wasn't being hurt this wasn't Shane or one of his cronies, he wasn't tied up and there wasn't a gag in his mouth. Gradually the room began to come back into focus, he blinked trying to still his rage and was totally amazed to find Seifer's jade green eyes bare inches from his own. There was no electricity this time, but just as interesting was the knowing look of pain that those eyes held. He was so entranced by this fact, he totally forgot that someone he barely knew was touching him. 

Seifer stilled his motion when his eyes made contact with Squall's, the room faded from sight, all he knew were those eyes and the immense pain that they held. He felt as if he was drowning in a stormy sea of despair while the wind howled and screamed in agony, only the wind was a silent voice and the sea, a raging hurt so deep that in was fathomless. 

He groaned and pulled Squall into a tight embrace, while squeezing his eyes shut to the horrible knowledge of what lay behind the boy with the smile. He resumed rocking him but now it was more for his own benefit, he was terrified because he had seen and recognized where his own pain was leading him. 

Squall was too dazed to resist being pulled into that embrace of strength, too emotionally drained to feel anything other than the comfort he found there. He closed his eyes and allowed it to wash over him. 

They stayed that way until the distant sound of a whistle being blown brought them both crashing back into reality. Squall stiffened knowing that soon the locker room was going to be filled with people that he didn't want to see. Seifer released his hold allowing Squall to scramble to his feet. He got up as well and shot a glance at the doors leading into the gym and then seeing the horror that played on Squall's face, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his trench coat and growled, "Come on!" 

Squall jumped at the sound but wordlessly followed Seifer out of the locker room, and through the hall that took them outside to the football field. Squall kept his eyes on the ground not really understanding why he followed so willingly, everything was a mixed up jumble in his head and try as he may he still wasn't able to produce coherent thoughts, just snippets of reasoning's that hardly made any sense at all. 

His eyes strayed to the long shadow that walked so confidently beside his own, and he suddenly began having to blink back tears as he saw both shadows merge together for a moment. He tried to follow the train of thought that brought that on, but it was gone as quickly as it came, just leaving the threat of tears in its wake. 

Seifer ducked underneath the bleachers and walked to the middle where he knew no one would be able to see them, God knows that he had come here often enough to hide himself, and right now that was exactly what they both needed to do, whether Squall knew it or not. He wasn't going to leave him there to face what had scared him so badly, not yet, the boy wasn't ready for that yet. 

He flopped onto the ground and leaned his back comfortably against one of the support beams and silently opened his arms for Squall. 

Squall stared at the open arms, feeling for the entire world like a lost little boy, the tears began streaming down his face as he slipped into the comfort that those arms promised and delivered so effectively. Sobs wracked his body as he lay upon that wide chest, feeling Seifer's hands rubbing his back and hearing the soft soothing sounds he made without actually hearing any words. The dam had been broken and the emotions that had been held for far too long flooded out, soaking Seifer's shirt with their salty evidence. 

When he had finally quieted Seifer turned him around so that he lay with his back against his chest, his head resting comfortably beneath his chin. Seifer's arms were wrapped securely across the boy's chest protectively. Neither talked, they both just stared out at the empty field, lost in their own thoughts. 

(End Chapter 4)

**A/N**: I want to tell you guys that some of what happens in this story are true to life experiences by yours truly......Seifer's encounter in the classroom with the giggeling girls for example....... I want to say to those of you who are still in High School that passing judgment on people based solely on thier looks IS WRONG!!! They might be a wonderful person and you may not know thier circumstances.... So before you decide that you don't like someone PLEASE take the time to find out a bit more about them........you just might be surprised......I am sorry if I sound like a Public Service Announcement or an Afterschool Special...... but this is a subject that is very close to my heart!! I almost didn't post this story because I was afraid of what people might say....but in the end I decided to use it to my advantage........PLEASE IF ANYONE WHO IS READING THIS FIC HAS HAD SIMILAR EXPERIENCES AND ARE AFRAID TO TALK TO SOMEONE, I URGE YOU TO CALL A COUNCILLING HOTLINE!! NOT ONLY ARE THEY EXPERIENCED IN THIS SORT OF THING, THEY CAN GET YOU HELP!! As usual Praise will be given a Gold Star!! Flames will be given a Mr. Yuck sticker!!


	5. Home Sweet Hell

**Chapter 5**

The sound of dropping equipment and loud voices brought Seifer's head up with a snap. He could see people milling about on the field and it startled him, he glanced down at his watch, only to discover that school was over and they had been dozing here for a little more than three hours. He let his arm drape back across the still sleeping form he held, not really wanting to wake him, but knowing they were in mortal danger of being discovered. With a heavy sigh and a final squeeze he drew his arms to Squall's shoulders. "Psst… hey we gotta go man, wake up," he whispered as loud as he dare and gently shook him. 

Squall's eyes fluttered open, he had been having the most wonderful dream. His mother held him once more and had been telling him that he wasn't alone anymore. He yawned only to have a hand clamp over his mouth. Startled he jerked forward, the yawn dying a sudden death. He turned to find that indeed someone had been holding him, but it certainly wasn't his mother. His eyes were wide and fearful but Seifer slipped a finger to his lips in a gesture of silence, and then pointed past him to the field, he glanced in the indicated direction and understood the need for silence. At least thirty boys stood before the bleachers while a coach called their names out. 

Seifer crouched beside him and his warm breath tickled his ear as he whispered into it. "There is another way outta here besides the way we came in, follow me." Squall nodded his agreement. Seifer shot him a grin that said 'don't worry I know what I'm doing.' So once again Squall found himself following Seifer's lead. Stooping low to avoid the low hanging support beams, they made their way to the farthest end of the field, opposite of where they had come in at, to a gate that appeared to be locked with a heavy chain and padlock. Squall looked up at Seifer clear distress showing in those magnificent eyes. Seifer couldn't help but smirk an all knowing half smile in his direction, and produced from his pocket a set of keys. He quickly found the right one and opened the lock. Now smiling a full smile at the wonder plastered on Squall's face. He swung the gate open and allowed Squall to pass through it. 

Squall found himself standing at the back end of the now empty parking lot, watching as Seifer relocked the gate. Where did he get those keys? Oh well it wasn't any of his business, besides he was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable knowing that moments before he had been held in those arms. Not that he was complaining, he wasn't, he had needed what Seifer offered him, but now that it was over he just felt awkward. He glanced down at his shadow that was cast by the late afternoon sun, wanting to find the right words to express his gratitude without coming across as a complete idiot, but wasn't having any luck. He watched Seifer's shadow as it mingled with his, and lifted his head to try and express his feelings. Seifer's eyes were on his in a moment, and Squall couldn't help but notice how green his were, like the jungle cat in his mural. He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted. 

"SQUALL!! 

Squall peeled his eyes slowly from Seifer's and turned around to observe Zell speeding toward them on his skateboard. 

"Hey there you are man! I have been lookin for ya ever since the last bell, Where the hell ya been bud?" He grinned and flipped up his board into his waiting hand. 

Seifer folded his arms, and pulled himself up to his full height, just in case this kid meant trouble. He narrowed his eyes and smirked. Knowing full well the menacing presence he presented. 

Zell's enthusiasm over finding his friend faltered for a moment when it finally dawned on him that Seifer Almasy was standing just behind Squall, and from the look on his face, he wasn't too happy about being interrupted. It stunned him for a moment, and he began to nervously fidget. 

Squall took the time that Seifer's presence had bought him to compose himself, he didn't want his friend to know how upset he had been, because he would ask too many questions that he just didn't want to answer. He closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths before regaining his former personality. 

"Hey Zell, sorry about that, got kinda caught up with somethin important." 

Zell looked away from Seifer and back at his friend, "Whatcha doin with Seifer? He wasn't hurtin you was he?" He narrowed his eyes and glanced back up at Seifer, who just smirked at him. 

"No Zell, he wasn't hurtin me, it's okay, we were actually having a nice conversation and I just lost track of time that's all." He looked up at Seifer silently pleading with his eyes for him to agree. 

Seifer's smirk turned into a full smile, as he looked at Zell and nodded his head, not being too sure of his voice at the moment, his throat felt dry and scratchy and there was a lump he couldn't seem to swallow. Never in his entire life had someone trusted him with a secret, and that's exactly what Squall was doing. He visibly relaxed and unfolded his arms, even going so far as to extend an unsure hand in Zell's direction. 

Just as unsure Zell extended his own and briefly shook Seifer's bigger hand, not really believing that he was doing this, but if Squall had been talking to him and he wasn't dead, maybe he wasn't as bad of a guy as the rumors made him out to be. 

"Whatcha talk about?" he asked curiously, Squall should have seen that one coming knowing Zell the way he did, but for a moment it threw him off, he wracked his brain trying to think of a plausible sounding topic, when he heard his own lips utter, "Art, he wanted me to give him some lessons in art." 

"Oh that's cool then, hey I will meet ya out front okay?" 

He watched Zell speed away on his skateboard and when he was no longer visible he let out the breath he wasn't aware he had been holding. Still feeling a bit awkward and unsettled he turned around to face Seifer again, he took a deep breath and forced himself to look up, "Thanks, I uhh guess I will see ya around okay?" it was the best he could come up with and he knew it was lame, but then he was a lame kind of guy so it sort of worked, he smiled at that thought and turned to follow after his friend, not seeing the mess he left standing in the parking lot. 

Seifer didn't know what in the world to do, in the space of only a few hours this kid had managed to break down his every barrier, not a single one remained, and the really funny part about it was that had been the most the kid had managed to say to him in a single sentence. He had even given him another of those beautiful smiles, not knowing in the least that he had just given Seifer more than he had ever gotten in his whole miserable life. He stood there watching in wonder as Squall turned the corner, feeling better than he had ever felt before, who knew that in helping that kid, he managed to help himself. He smiled a genuine smile and turned to head home. 

His good feelings however were not meant to last, as he approached his house he could already hear his father's voice yelling ugly slurs at his mother, the sound of breaking glass and crying soon followed. Seifer hung his head, already knowing where this would lead, and where he would find himself in the morning. He stood on the porch waiting for his father to stop yelling, but was caught off guard when the door was violently flung open. Both father and son stared at each other for a moment before a hand reached out to grab him around the back of the neck and pull him inside, summarily slamming him into the wall. His father stood over him and at six feet six and nearly three hundred pounds, he was an imposing figure to be sure. Seifer slid part way down the wall, only being held up by the impossibly tight grip the man had on his shirt and coat. 

"Well, it seems that Dummy here finally made it home, he sneered. Whatcha doin home so late Dummy? Huh, answer me!" 

When Seifer didn't answer he drew back his fist and punched him in the stomach, knocking the wind from his lungs and making him see red and black spots before his eyes. He curled his arms around his stomach and drew up his legs, just lying there. Waiting for the inevitable to happen, which it didn't take long. A kick in the kidney brought his body off the floor about a foot, to land hard on the uncarpeted floor. He bit his lip to keep from crying out, and waited till he lost interest in him. 

"God how did I get saddled with this shit?" his father screamed. " A Dummy and a Whore, hey Gloria get yer ass in here and pick up the piece of shit I found layin in the hall! Then make my dinner, MOVE IT BITCH OR ELSE!" 

Seifer waited until he had stepped over him to go into the den before dragging himself into a sitting position, he didn't want his mother to touch him in any way, so he sucked up the pain and crawled up the stairs to his room. Shutting and locking the door he gingerly removed his trench coat and lowered himself onto his bed, the worst was yet to come, he knew that. He reached painfully over to the nightstand drawer and removed a brown pill bottle. He had told the doctor that it was a sports injury, that he played football, and he had prescribed him Flexaril as a muscle relaxer and Percodan for the pain. It was about the nicest thing that his mother ever did for him. He guessed that she had been feeling guilty about him so when he asked to be taken to the hospital a couple of months back, she agreed. 

He fumbled with the lid and slid two pills into his hand, as he looked at them a single silver tear tracked down his cheek, at least tonight he would be able to endure what was going to happen, but what was he going to do when he ran out of these? He didn't want to think about it anymore. He tossed the pills into his mouth and dry swallowed them. When the pain had receded enough for him to think, he pulled his homework from his coat pocket and began to work. But soon his head began to nod, and it wasn't long before sleep finally took him over. 

He was woken up with a slap to the face and being dragged out of bed by his hair. "Yer mother's cookin not good enough for ya huh? You wanna hide up here while I have to eat the shit she cooks? That's fine Dummy I don't mind! Just gonna be more skin off yer back not mine!" 

Roughly his shirt was ripped off of him and before he could react a stinging lash hit his already sore back, the belt buckle tearing his skin. He bit his arm to keep from crying out, even through the drug-induced haze he could feel his abused flesh screaming at him. 

He wasn't sure how long it went on or even if he managed to keep silent, not that it really mattered anymore. All he did know was that he hurt like hell. He tried to move but his body wouldn't respond, he could only lay there in the darkness, feeling his blood seeping from his wounds and know that this was punishment for the happiness he had felt earlier in the day. He wasn't meant to be happy he knew that now. He curled himself up tighter and allowed his consciousness to fade into the welcome darkness. 

Sometime later he woke to the sound of silence, the smell of drying blood, cheap alcohol and stale cigar smoke lingered in his nostrils, he was cold and he knew he needed to get into a hot shower, if he didn't soon he wouldn't be able to make it to school tomorrow and there was no way in hell he was going to stay here with them. 

After several failed attempts he finally made it to his feet, swaying slightly he turned on the bedroom light. God, so much blood. All over the floor, on the bed on the walls, he wanted to scream because he knew that it was all his, every single drop. He fumbled for the medicine bottle and dry swallowed a couple more pills before going into the bathroom. He stripped down and turned on the hot water as high as it would go, not bothering with the cold at all because with the shitty water heater they had it was going to be hot for only a short amount of time. He caught sight of himself in the full-length mirror that was hung on the door. Damn he looked bad, he turned slightly to see his back, and he wanted to be sick, there wasn't a piece of exposed skin that wasn't covered by either a bruise or a bloody cut. He was going to feel this in the morning regardless of what measures he took tonight, the only hope he had to keep his muscles from cramping up was to keep them moving, which meant staying up all night then school in the morning. Well it wasn't like he hadn't done it before, might as well get busy. He had schoolwork to do anyway. 

**(End Chapter 5)**

**A/N**: Well here is a look into Seifer's little world….. I hope I wasn't too disturbing…..and for those who actually READ the authors notes, here is another example of why people should never judge someone until they know what their situations are….Any questions or comment other than feedback will be gladly answered, feel free to contact me at zencreation@yahoo.com….. Praise will be put on an alter and worshipped!! Flames will be sacrificed to Satan!!


	6. What Could Be Worse

**Chapter 6**

Zell had chattered happily at Squall about his day until they had come to Zell's house, at which he flipped up his board and with a friendly wave bounced through the door. Squall shook his head and smiled sadly. There was no way in hell he would allow what happened to him to happen to Zell. It would kill him inside, kill his spirit and that in turn would kill Squall. He loved Zell, he was his best friend, and even though he would never know the sacrifice that Squall had made for him, just knowing that he had kept him safe was enough to hold him together. He entered the house through the garage, noting that his dad's car wasn't there, so that meant he was on his own for dinner. That was fine with Squall, he wasn't that hungry anyway. He dropped his backpack on the table and noted the blinking light on the answering machine. Grabbing a soda from the refrigerator and his history book he pushed replay and sat down to do his homework. 

BEEEEP 

"Hi Squall it's Dad, take the trash out when you get home, I will be working late again so don't forget to make yourself some dinner. You're getting way too thin. Also if you will there are some bills on my desk I need you to slip into the mailbox, I forgot them again and the electric company is on my ass about it. (Laughter) 

Squall glanced up and scowled at the machine. 

"Okay I know, you can stop scowling at me, I swear one of these days I will actually remember to put them in myself. I love you, and I will be home soon, bye!" 

BEEEEP 

"Hello? Mr. Loire? This is Melanie from Central Electric, and I am calling on behalf of your bill, which is currently late again, please send in your payment as soon as possible. 

Squall flipped the bird at the machine while he read. 

"Just a friendly reminder Mr. Loire, have a nice day!" 

BEEEEP 

"Squall? Dad? Anyone home?" 

Squall raised his head, wow actually a call from Quistis, isn't that nice, figured she had ran off with one of her psych buddies and had forgotten about us. 

"Guess not, okay, well I just wanted you both to know that I am coming home. There was a fire at the Psych building and we don't have classes for at least three weeks while repairs are being made. I should be there by nine tomorrow night, if my flight isn't delayed, love to you both, bye." 

Well now, that's all he needed, having Quistis around was a pain and a half. She was always trying to use her psychology on him and it got old really quick, but for dad he would be nice. As long as she respected his rules he would tolerate her presence. 

He finished his history page, took out the trash and mailed the bills, which his dad had also forgotten to put stamps on, then took the rest of his homework to his room. 

Once inside his room, he felt relief flood through him. This was his sanctuary his inner sanctum in which no one bothered him. He dropped his backpack on the hard wood floor and fell down on the thick queen size futon mattress that served as his bed, reveling in the coolness of the black satin sheets. His dad had wanted to get him a "proper" bed, saying that it unnerved him to know that his son slept on the floor, but Squall refused saying that a bed would mess up the flow of his art, and so the futon mattress stayed where it was. 

He rolled over to look at the canvas that leaned against the far wall, he had been trying for weeks to do something bright and sunny again, but it wasn't working. Instead he had drawn a body hanging from a gallows tree. The body was gaunt and almost skeletal, but the really frightening part was that it had his face, he hadn't meant to do that, but the resemblance was scary and very depressing. He sighed and looked away, as soon as he could get to it, he was going to erase those charcoal lines and the image forever. 

Heaving himself off the mattress he went to retrieve his backpack and his waiting homework, as he approached the eyes of the jungle cat caught his attention, and for the longest time he stared at them, head cocked to the side, barely breathing. 

When he came back to himself, he realized that the light was all wrong, he glanced at the clock and was stunned, over an hour had passed and he had no idea where he had been for it, this was the first time he never remembered where he spaced out to, not to mention the fact that he had a sketch pad in his hands with a completed drawing of Seifer's face staring up at him and the words "Save me from myself" written below it. He had no recollection whatsoever of getting his sketchpad or drawing, and to say that that frightened him would have been the biggest understatement of the year. 

Carefully he closed the sketchbook and with shaking hands reached for his backpack. Finishing his homework in record time, he left his room and went to throw up again. 

The early morning light pierced the darkness staining the eastern sky indigo then pale salmon pink, followed by hues of yellow. Seifer watched in admiration, trying to ignore the sharp ache in his shoulders and back. Every breath was a new lesson in agony, even with shallow breathing. When the sun had finally made its dazzling appearance he got up and went to go get a cup of coffee while he waited for the school day to begin. 

Squall slapped at the alarm blazing away in his ear, God, he hated mornings, and this morning was no exception. It was going to be a bitch of a day, not only was there school but Quisty's homecoming as well. He grimaced as if he tasted something bad and shuffled towards the bathroom for his wake up shower. 

Still not awake yet, he shambled downstairs and into the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee, normally he didn't drink the stuff, but today his head felt like it had cobwebs in it and if he didn't wake up soon, he would fall asleep in class. 

Forgoing his usual cereal he grabbed a bagel and sat down. In the usual manner of their morning ritual, the back door opened admitting one winded Laguna who ruffled the boy's hair on his way to take his shower. Squall smoothed his hair down without noticing and began methodically eating his bagel. 

Having eaten and dressed he plodded down the sidewalk toward Zell's house, though he really wasn't aware of it. It was more of a habitual thing to do than a conscious one. Zell arrived in his usual manner, bright and cheerful enthusiastically telling Squall about a movie he watched on the late show, not really caring that Squall was somewhere else. He hated silence of any sort and because his friend was of the quiet type, he tended to talk enough for the both of them, but that was all right. When Squall was ready and really had something to say, he spoke up, that was just the nature of their friendship. 

Zell guided Squall around the busses in the usual manner, avoiding the football players and had almost gotten to the middle of the campus when Shane Wilson and his flunkies stepped in front of them. 

"Well if it isn't Zell and his girlfriend Squall, fancy meeting you here. I had almost begun to think that you two transferred out of here! And after we had so much fun together in gym class, eh Squall, you remember the fun times we had don't you?" 

Squall's hands began to shake and he felt like there was something heavy sitting on his chest. All the color, what little there was, drained from his face, but he nodded. 

Zell didn't know what was going on, but he knew that he didn't like Shane or his friends picking on Squall. "Just leave him alone Shane," he said trying not to let his fear show. 

"Or what Zell? Hmmm? You gonna stop me if I wanna take your girlfriend here for a little walk?" 

"Yeah I will Shane, he's not going anywhere with you!" 

"Oh really? I think Squall might have something to say to that, don't you Squall." 

Squall's head hung a little lower, and his eyes squeezed a little tighter, but he still managed to give Zell a slight push in the direction of the front doors. 

Zell didn't know what to do, why was Squall pushing him away? Hadn't he just stood up to Shane for him? He watched as Shane put his arm around Squall's shoulders and him and his goons took him off toward the tennis courts. Tears stung his eyes as he tried to figure out why Squall was acting like this. He couldn't shake the feeling that Squall was in deep shit, but try as he might he couldn't go against what Squall asked him to do. Whether or not it was verbalized Zell had always done what Squall asked him too. Even when it hurt him to do so, like now. He hung his head and went inside. 

The cool autumn air chilled his sweat soaked skin, and his knees burned from the deep scrapes he had received from the tennis court tarmac. He wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come no matter how hard he tried to make them. He reached for his clothes and for the second time that morning got dressed. 

At least they all hadn't taken him, he was strangely grateful for that. The others merely wanted to watch his humiliation, but somewhere deep down inside he knew that fact would soon change as each of them plucked up enough courage to join in. 

He felt abnormally detached from the whole situation, it wasn't like the first time when he was forced to do this. This had been done of his own free will. All to protect a friend that would never, could never know. But that didn't stop him from emptying his stomach all over the court before leaving. 

Seifer glanced toward Squall hoping to catch his eye, he still didn't seem aware that they were sitting right next to each other. Frustrated Seifer scrawled a note and tossed it onto his desk when the teacher's back was turned. Squall looked at the piece of paper that landed on his notebook, confused he picked it up and unfolded it. 'Meet me at the bleachers at lunch' it read. Fear coursed through his veins, and unshed tears began to burn his eyes, but he forced his eyes in the direction that the note came from. 

Seifer's smile faltered when he saw the glint of tears in his eyes. He hadn't been expecting that. He cocked his head to the side in an unspoken question of what was wrong. When he received a shrug, his eyes grew hard. It was one thing for him to be beaten and punished he deserved it, but not Squall. It wasn't a question of if he was being hurt, he already knew the answer to that. It was the How and the Who that needed to be answered. He swore to himself that he would find those answers out and when he did God help the person or persons, because he was going to kill them. 

When the bell rang for lunch they both headed quietly to the bleachers. Seifer wanted to take up the position he had yesterday so that he could hold Squall, but his back prevented that from happening. Besides from the boys posture he doubted that he would ever get that privilege again. He had his back to him and his arms were wrapped around himself like he was afraid his insides would fall out if he let go. He wanted to help but he knew from personal experience that you couldn't get someone to talk about their problems unless they wanted to. Seifer decided that he would take the first step. He needed Squall to know that he could trust him more than he already had. 

Haltingly he removed his trench coat and placed it around Squall's shoulders. He stiffened slightly but then wrapped himself inside the warmth gratefully. Seifer smiled a little then began the arduous task of removing the loose tank top, only to hiss in pain when he discovered that some of his wounds had opened up and bled causing the shirt to stick to him, making him rip them open again to get it off. 

Squall turned at the sound and the question he had been going to ask died on his lips. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Seifer's whole upper body was one big walking wound. 

"Jesus fucking Christ Seifer, what the hell happened?" suddenly his problem didn't seem quite so important. At least his wounds didn't show up like this. 

Seifer smiled at his language, "Never figured you for a potty mouth." 

"Fuck my language, what the hell happened?" 

Seifer sighed, might as well get it over with, I went this far already. "My dad, that's what happened," he said flatly. 

Squall couldn't believe what he was hearing, what kind of animal would do that to their own kid? "Turn around, I wanna see the rest of it." 

"You sure you wanna do that? You look a little green already, trust me it isn't a pretty sight." 

"Shut up and turn around," he growled. 

Seifer turned and heard Squall's gasp of alarm. "Seifer you're bleeding all over the place, doesn't it hurt?" 

Does it hurt? What a question to ask him, "Yeah, it hurts but not so much as it did the first time it happened." 

"When was that?" 

"I was five I think, he broke my arm in three places and fractured my skull. Told the doctors that he had been teaching me to ride a two wheeler and that I fell off." 

Squall felt his heart break, literally into a million tiny fragments. He remembered his own dad teaching him to ride and kissing his skinned knees before carrying him back into the house. 

With out any more hesitation he slipped Seifer's coat off his shoulders and placed it back where it belonged. Then grabbed his wrist, half dragging him to the back gate. Fuck his problems, Seifer's were a million times worse. 

When they got to the gate Squall dug out the set of keys from Seifer's jeans pocket drawing an amused look from him in the process. He shrugged his shoulders and returned the keys after they both slipped through the gate. Taking hold of his wrist once more, he hauled Seifer to his house. 

**(End Chapter 6)**

**A/N:** YAY another chappie done!! Hope you enjoy it. ^_^


	7. Dad, Can I Keep Him?

**Chapter 7**

"Wow, you live here?" 

Squall nodded as he opened the back door. 

Seifer stepped through and was amazed, this was how real people lived. It looked just as he imagined it would. His eyes kept finding new and wonderful things to look at and that was just in the kitchen alone. Following Squall through the attached dining room then the front hall to a large set of stairs, everywhere he looked he could see things that would have never found their way into his house. A potted plant, a vase of flowers, hell they even had an umbrella stand and a small bench by the front door for visitors to sit on to remove their shoes. 

At the top of the stairs, Seifer paused, realizing that this was the first time he had ever been in someone else's house. What if he broke something or soiled it in some unspeakable way? He was bleeding after all. Self-consciously he looked down to make sure he wasn't dripping all over the carpets. 

"Go down the hall, to the only door on the right, that's my room." 

"Where are you going?" he asked a bit nervously. 

"Just in here, I'm going to get some towels and peroxide and stuff, it's okay Seifer, just go before you bleed on the carpet." 

"Don't you have carpet in your room?" 

"No, now just go, I will be there in a minute or so." 

Seifer went shuffling down the hallway and opened the door. He had to admit he was nervous, there were butterflies in his stomach and his palms were getting sweaty. He stared at the floor as he entered, sure enough Squall's bedroom floor was hardwood and had been buffed to a beautiful shine. He glanced up and had to do a double take. The scene laid out before his eyes were breathtaking. The field of flowers looked so real that he found himself reaching out to touch the wall just to make sure that it was only a painting. As his fingers brushed the slightly bumpy surface, Squall walked through the door carrying his supply of towels and medicine, slightly amused at Seifer's reaction. 

"Come on over here and lie down." 

Seifer let his fingers trail down the wall and turned toward Squall only to find an equally amazing painting on the other side. His mouth hung slightly open in awe of the masterfully created wonder. Then seeing the jungle scene, he couldn't help himself, he went to it and just stared at the giant cat that almost seemed to purr pure menace at him. "Did you do these?" he asked in a hushed reverent tone. 

"Yeah, I did that one not too long ago." 

"Squall they are amazing! They look so real I had to touch them just to make sure I wasn't hallucinating." 

Squall blushed at the praise, but did feel a sense of pride from it too, he knew his art was good but hearing someone else say so made it seem all the better. 

"Thanks Seifer, now if you are finished fingering my art, do ya think you can get over here so that I can take care of your back?" 

Seifer had almost forgotten why they had come here. He sighed and nodded, without taking his eyes from the giant cats. There was something about those eyes that made him want to jump into the painting and run wild with the beast. He was free and powerful, a thing to be feared and respected, and Seifer wanted to join him, but then reality kicked in and he knew no such thing were possible. He straighted slowly from his crouch, and surveyed the rest of the room. He found it sort of funny that everything in here was low to the floor, with the notable exception of the easel that stood near what he took to be a very large window. There were few other furnishings, only Squall's bed and alarm clock and what looked like a large cedar chest. 

Looking at the bed he smirked, "Didn't take you for a satin kind of guy. Bet the girls go wild over it." 

Squall blushed furiously, "What's wrong with satin?" he asked intentionally trying to ignore the comment about girls, and what it implied. 

Seifer took off his jacket and slid onto the bed and was delighted to find that the sheets were as soft as they looked. What would it be like to sleep in a bed like this every night? His own little rat hole bedroom was nothing compared to this, and this bed was heaven. 

"Nothing wrong with it at all," he said trying to stifle a yawn but not succeeding very well. "In fact I think I could get used to it." 

Squall's blush began to fade and he smiled a little before kneeling beside Seifer, laying a towel on each side of him to keep any blood or dribbles of peroxide from getting on the sheets. Carefully he dabbed at Seifer's wounds trying not to reopen them, but it wasn't working. The peroxide ate away at the drying blood encrusting the area, causing more to issue forth. God he was a mess. He bit his lip and held back tears as he worked. Nobody deserved this kind of treatment, least of all Seifer. He worried that he was hurting him more, but Seifer never made a sound. In fact, he had fallen sound asleep. Squall shook his head sadly, knowing that they should be in school right now, but there was no way he was going to wake him up. 

Sighing he picked up the rather large mass of bloody cotton balls and threw them in the trash. Not having anything better to do at the moment, he grabbed his sketchpad and began a new drawing. 

Seifer woke a couple of hours later, his back stinging but he didn't mind. At least it told him he wasn't dreaming, that this room and bed were real. He didn't think he had ever woke up in such comfort, with the exception of his back he could almost pretend that his life wasn't hell and that he lived here. 

He stared at the wall that depicted the stormy sea, and noticed a small inscription near the bottom, half hidden by the mattress. Moving the comforter he was able to make out words. 

**Dedicated to the loving memory of my mother, this is my tribute to her. I love and miss her terribly, but I will always have my memories.**

There was more but it disappeared behind the mattress. Seifer wondered what it was like to love someone that much. His own mother could die tomorrow and he wouldn't shed a single tear over her passing. It must have been really rough for Squall to love her that much only to lose her. Maybe that was part of his problem. Grief does funny things to people, and sometimes it makes them act a bit strangely. Maybe he was reading too much into Squall's situation and that he really wasn't being hurt. Maybe that was just wishful thinking on his part, so that would give him the chance to play the hero. Whatever! 

He smirked at the wall for a moment and then pulled himself stiffly off the mattress, resisting the urge to stretch his aching muscles. Glancing around he realized that Squall was nowhere to be seen, puzzled he went the door and into the hall. He could hear Squall's voice coming from downstairs obviously using the phone. He didn't want to disturb him so he went into the bathroom instead and then back into the room to wait. 

Squall paced nervously while he waited for the secretary to patch him through to his father's phone. After what seemed like hours, his dad's voice came on the other end of the line. 

"Squall, you okay? You never call me during the day so what's up?" 

He could hear the tension in his father's voice and it made what he had to say all the more harder. "Uh, dad? I'm okay, really I am. It's just that I wanted to let you know that I'm not in school and I missed half of yesterday too. I wanted to tell you before the school called you." He bit his lip nervously while he waited for the silence on the other end of the phone to break. 

"Okaaaay, can I ask why you aren't in school son?" 

"Well, I would rather wait till you got home to tell you, I just wanted to ask if I could have a friend over for a couple of days. He is in real trouble Dad, and I am afraid that if I don't help him, he is gonna get really hurt." 

Laguna's eyes went wide with worry, "What happened to Zell? Is he okay? Squall what the hell is going on?" 

The raised voice and questions that were hurled at Squall made him wince slightly and pull the phone away from his ear. "Dad… Dad…. No…. dad it isn't Zell!" 

Laguna was stunned for a moment, Squall had a friend that wasn't Zell? Many unanswered questions ran through his mind, but they would have to wait. "Son, I trust your judgment, if you think that what you are doing will help your friend then I will stand by your decision, but I do want to talk about this when I get home. Just you and me, a father and son moment, a chance to talk man to man." 

"Uhh…dad? You have forgotten all about Quisty coming home haven't you." He didn't have to see Laguna to know that he had slapped his hand to his forehead in the classic "DOH" expression. He smiled slightly, knowing that his father meant well but was just too scatter brained for his own good. "That's what I thought." 

Laguna sighed deeply, "We'll talk later son, take care of your friend and I will be home later. Do try not to kill Quisty until I get there?" 

Squall rolled his eyes heavenward in a plea for patience, knowing his dad was only trying to keep the peace, but still it irked him to no end that he was going to have to put up with Quisty for God knew how long. "I'm not promising anything but I will try okay dad?" he said through clenched teeth. 

"Okay, I will see you when I get home." 

"Alright, later dad." 

He hung up the phone, sighing deeply and ran his hand through his hair. One problem down, now to deal with another, just how the hell was he going to manage to keep Seifer here? 

**(End Chapter 7)**

**A/N:** Yeah I know a real short chapter but 8 will be longer I promise!!


	8. Caught in the Act

**Chapter 8**

Squall walked upstairs and was amused to find Seifer checking out his closet. 

"Find something you like in there?" 

Seifer jumped and a guilty look flashed across his face, but he grinned anyway. "Nahh, just checking out how much space you have in there man, it's as big as my bedroom. Not to mention the fact that I have never seen a guy with so many clothes." 

Squall flushed crimson and stared at the floor. "Blame that on my having an older sister who's idea of taking care of the family is taking me shopping," he mumbled. 

Seifer chuckled and slid closed the closet door, amazed once again at how it seemed to magically disappear into the mural. "You are a fantastic artist Squall, I can't get over how real these paintings look." 

Squall grinned widely, "That's the second time you have said that," still staring at the floor. 

"What, I'm not allowed to repeat myself? I can't help it if I like fingering your art! YOUR words not mine I might add!" 

Squall snickered and plopped down on the futon mattress, followed by Seifer, who sat at the foot of the bed, watching Squall as he laid back and rested his arms behind his head. He was staring up at the ceiling and a slight smile still played at the corners of his lips. Seifer couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking about. 

Squall watched the sunlight as it played across the ceiling, wondering if now would be a good time to try and talk to Seifer. 

_Better now than never!! Gees quit acting like he is gonna run screaming from the room!! You don't know what his reaction is gonna be so why don't you just ask him and get it over with…_

"Uh…….. Seifer?" 

"Yeah?" he said, trying to look like he hadn't been staring at the boy. 

"Would you want to stay here with me for a few days?" Squall couldn't help the nervous butterflies in his stomach. He wanted to help Seifer, but what if he laughed at him? 

Seifer's eyes widened in surprise, Wow, what was he supposed to say to that? He didn't want to impose him presence here but he watched as Squall nervously chewed on his bottom lip, obviously waiting for an answer. He had to say something, so he might as well at least give the _appearance_ that he was thinking it over. He brought his hand to his chin in a mock thinking stance. 

_Oh well lets see, on one hand we have an abusive home life that will probably kill me before I turn eighteen, and then on the other hand we have a chance to actually stay here with my beautiful boy……. Hmmm……. Hard decision…… no really……it is……_

He almost laughed out loud at his thoughts but stopped himself before doing so. He didn't want to give the impression that he was laughing at Squall's offer. 

He smiled at Squall, "You really mean it?" 

Squall silently breathed a sigh of relief, "Yeah, I mean it, of course I mean it. I already asked my dad, and he said it was cool, so you are free to stay if you want too." 

Seifer smiled widely, "Wow, of course I will stay, but I don't have any clothes or anything, maybe I should pop back home an…….. 

"NO!!" Squall sat quickly up and grabbed Seifer's wrist. 

The ferocity of Squall's interruption shocked Seifer silent for a moment. Not that he could really blame Squall, he wasn't used to the shit he was going through. He looked down at the hand on his wrist and felt an exhilarated thrill run through his wrist, up his arm and into his chest, settling somewhere near his heart. 

"Okay……. I won't go, but what am I gonna do for clothes man? Not like I could wear yours……you're a little on the uhm…….. short side?" 

Squall erupted in sudden laughter, his worry momentarily forgotten, "I'm not THAT short……. Besides……. Ever think that maybe you are just a little too long in the legs for your own good? I suppose we could just saw you off at the ankles and then you could wear my clothes." 

Seifer threw his head back and laughed out loud. "HAH, just try and come near me with a sharp instrument of any kind and see what you get!" 

"OH, it's like that is it?" Squall was enjoying the light hearted banter immensely. It had been a really long time since he had enjoyed much of anything and it was good to be able to pretend that his life really wasn't going down the toilet. 

Seifer watched the humor as it lit up Squall's eyes, Lord but he was beautiful. "Yeah it's like that, so what are you gonna do about it hmm?" 

"You know I am almost tempted to find out just what I would get!" Squall smirked a bit suggestively. 

Seifer's eyes widened a bit,_ Uh oh just where the hell is this conversation going?_ He smirked back equally as wicked, "Come on, I dare you to find out!" the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them._ Oh Lord, did I just say that?_

It was Squall's turn to be a bit offset by Seifer's words, but he was enjoying himself too much to quit. Besides he was getting a really entertaining idea. He rolled over to the side and grabbed Seifer's ankle, the one he knew held his knife. After a few moments of struggle on Seifer's part he finally managed to free the blade from its sheath. 

"Hah!! I got it!! Now lets do something about those ankles shall we?" 

Seifer was laughing uncontrollably, as Squall flicked open the blade and brandished it menacingly at him. "Stop…… no…… please…..I can't stand it….. Put it away before you hurt yourself!" 

"I thought you were going to show me what you were gonna do? I mean here I am, knife in hand, and calling your bluff!" he said as he stepped closer. 

Seifer's eyes were leaking tears but he still managed to get to his feet. He pulled himself to his full height and tried to glare down at his smaller companion, unfortunately he failed miserably. Instead he busted out laughing at the picture Squall made. Which in turn made Squall lose it as well. 

Both boys doubled over in gales of roaring laughter. When they had settled down to happy sighs, Squall handed Seifer the still open blade and watched as he quickly snapped it closed, but didn't bother replacing it in its sheath, just pitched it onto the comforter that had gotten tossed off the bed during his struggles. 

Squall plopped onto the bed again and resumed his former position, soon joined by a still chuckling Seifer who laid down beside him on his stomach. 

Squall glanced over and his eyes flew open wide, "Seifer, your bleeding again." 

"Hmm?" he said softly, "Guess we shouldn't have been jumping around like that." 

Squall rolled over onto his side propping himself up on his elbow, and began examining the rest of his back to see if any others had opened up. 

Seifer couldn't help but smile lazily, as Squall's soft fingertips brushed his back. He wasn't used to someone being as gentle as Squall was being, and it sort of tickled. 

Squall sighed suddenly and got to his feet, a slight blush tinting his cheeks, "Come on, I think a cool shower might help stop the bleeding," he said, turning away from Seifer so that he wouldn't see his blush, or other southern developments. 

_What the hell is wrong with me? When the hell did I become attracted to Seifer? Why now? All I was doing was checking his back for more open wounds, how come I now have a raging hard on?"_

Seifer didn't have to look at Squall to know something had changed. The feel in the air was just different. He wondered what he had said wrong, but simply decided to comply with Squall's request. 

When he stood he could see that Squall was facing away from him, but when he tried to put his hand onto his shoulder to turn him around, he stepped away and to the door opening it and quickly stepping through. 

Seifer raised an eyebrow but followed him down the hall and into the bathroom. 

Squall hastily grabbed a fluffy towel out of the cabinet and set it on the counter before brushing past Seifer and making his escape to his room, where he immediately plopped onto his bed, groaning out loud from the pressure in his groin. All around him was the scent of Seifer and it was driving him mad. He pressed a hand to the hardness in his jeans trying to will it to go away, but it only made things worse. He had to relieve himself of it before Seifer came back. 

Nervously he unzipped his jeans and slipped his hand inside, freeing himself from the confines of his pants. Slowly he began to stroke his aching erection. The scent of Seifer made his imagination run wild with thoughts of what he wanted Seifer to do to him. 

Seifer stared blankly at the closed bathroom door wondering what the hell had just happened. Squall was turning out to be much more of a puzzle than he had originally thought. Sighing he removed his clothes and stepped into the shower. He had to resist the urge to make it a hot shower so that he could satisfy his curiosity about how good their hot water heater was. Instead he was a good boy and made it a little less than luke warm. He didn't like the feel of the coolness on his skin, preferring instead the steady beat of stingingly hot water, but he also knew from experience that the hot water would only make him bleed more. 

He leaned his forehead against the cool tiles and allowed the water to wash away the traces of blood. He watched the water as it swirled around his feet before going down the drain. _That's just like my life, going nowhere but down the drain._

After a few more minutes he soaped up and washed his hair, using the unusually scented shampoo that he recognized as being the one Squall used. The scent was defiantly unique, something like the mixture of musk and seawater. It certainly appealed to him though. 

After rinsing thoroughly he stepped out of the shower and gingerly toweled off his back, being careful not to reopen the rest of his wounds. Then he bent over to dry his legs and was just standing up when the bathroom door came flying open. 

He was so surprised to see a girl standing there that it didn't even occur to him that he should cover himself. 

Quistis had run all the way to the upstairs bathroom, knowing that Squall would be in school and Dad was at work. She desperately needed to use the facilities and had needed to ever since she had left the airport. But now the need suddenly vanished as she came face to face with a naked stranger. Her eyes roamed across his body noting that his chest looked as if he had gotten into a fight with a weed whacker and lost. Lower still her eyes strayed seeing the light dusting of fine golden hairs starting just below his navel, and just as she was about to lay eyes on what lay between his legs, the silence was shattered. 

"Who are you?" he asked, suddenly whipping the towel around his waist obscuring her view. 

Her normal calm and collected nature had been struck a severe blow and all she could manage to do was stand there like a fish out of water, opening and closing her mouth. 

Seifer really didn't want to wait for an answer. He didn't know who the hell this girl was, but he sure as hell wasn't going to stand there in just a towel and be ogled. He quickly gathered up his clothes and beat a hasty retreat back to Squall's room. 

Throwing one more glance backward at the bathroom door, he plunged into the safety of Squall's room only to be greeted by an even more embarrassing situation. 

Squall lay on the bed, eyes wide, hand stuck in mid stroke, unable to move. Jade met stormy gray and in an instant things went bizarre. Squall felt that jolt of electricity that he had felt before, but now he knew it for what it was, desire, plain and simple, and in a situation that should have made his erection shrivel to nothingness, if anything it grew harder. 

Seifer was rooted to the spot where he stood, unable to take his eyes from the scene that lay before him. His breathing became shallow and his lips dry. His groin felt tight and heat spread through his limbs. His tongue darted out and unconsciously licked his lips. He could feel his own erection lifting the towel he wore, but he still could not leave those eyes. 

Squall's hand began to move again, and would have completed the act, staring into those jade depths, had not a sudden pounding on the door break the silent spell that had been woven, sending both boys into a flurry of activity. 

Squall jumped up and zipped his pants while Seifer was trying to literally hop into his own. After they were both decent, Squall went to the door to confront a very confused Quistis. 

"Squall? What the hell are you doing home? And who the hell is he?" she said pointing a perfectly manicured nail in Seifer's direction. 

Squall's irritation at being interrupted not once but twice, boiled over in a fit of frustrated rage, "Who the hell he is, is none of your fucking business Quisty! Dad knows I'm home so don't bother calling him, and the next time you pound on my fucking door like some freak of a lunatic, I promise I will make you regret it! NOW LEAVE!!" he slammed the door with a finality that spoke of much practice. 

He glared at the door, daring her to knock again sometime this century but when it became obvious that she had gone, he let out a deep breath. He leaned his forehead against the door, he didn't want to have to face Seifer after what had just happened, but there was little choice. He had been caught red handed literally and there was no way he was going to be able to give him a plausible explanation. He might as well accept the fact that Seifer would now want to leave, and there was no way that he could blame him either. 

Seifer watched Squall's back as he leaned against the door. Something had definitely happened a few seconds ago, and it had been unlike anything that he had experienced before. Those eyes had held him immobile. There had been nothing that he could do but watch and want. 

_Want what? What did I want? Do I even know? Is he gay? Hell for that matter am I gay and just never noticed? Does it even matter if he is? No, I don't think it does. Does it matter if I am gay? Not so sure about that one. Am I freaked out by what happened? Well that is the question of the hour isn't it. No I don't think I am, I was more turned on than freaked by it. I wonder if he noticed, hell I wonder if he would do a repeat performance._

Seifer was jolted from his thoughts when Squall suddenly sighed and turned toward him. He could see the embarassment and just the hint of something else he couldn't quite put his finger on. He wanted to let Squall know that he was okay with what happened, but he just didn't know how to breach the subject. Guys just didn't talk about those sort of things. Now face to face with Squall it made things feel a bit awkward. 

His gaze never left Squall's, and neither was Squall's leaving his. All thoughts that were running rampant through Seifer's head suddenly vanished, it was like he was drowning in those stormy gray eyes. His breathing became shallow once more and he could feel the almost magnetic pull of Squall's presence. 

Squall had meant to say something but for the life of him he couldn't remember what it was. The room felt as if it were a million miles away and all that existed were the jade green pools in which he was currently swimming. He wasn't sure how it had happened or even if it were really happening but he could feel Seifer's arms around him, feel him bury his head into his hair. Feel his hands as they roamed over his back and gripped his shoulders. Nothing was real except those sensations, nothing mattered but what those sensations were causing. 

Seifer couldn't understand what was happening. One minute Squall was across the room the next he found Squall's arms around his waist, could feel him snuggle into his chest. Those wonderfully soft hands of his whispered over his back sending shivers cascading through his body, then slipped down to find purchase on his ass, gently squeezing what he found there. He never wanted these sensations to end, never before had he ever experienced such softness such gentle caresses. 

From far away Squall could hear the ringing of the phone in his room, but he didn't want to leave these sensations he was feeling, but the damned annoying ringing was yanking him away and back into the room. When he finally came back to himself he was shocked to discover that not only had Seifer not moved, he seemed to be a little confused himself. He went and answered the phone, still unable to shake the feeling that something very strange had just happened. He was reminded of the feeling he had just before he had drawn that picture of Seifer. The words he had written ghosted into his mind….. save me from myself…. Just what the hell did that mean? 

"Hello?" 

**(End Chapter 8)**

**A/N:** Well here is chapter 8…. Hope you like it so far…… Things will progress I promise but not yet. There are still so many things that have to happen first!!


	9. Quisty Comes Home

**(Chapter 9) **

  
"Hey man, it's Zell. I waited outside the school for as long as I could, but I had Karate class today. What happened to ya? You okay?"

  
Squall couldn't speak, he had been so preoccupied with needing to help Seifer that he had forgotten someone equally as important. What would have happened if Shane had decided to look for him again and found him gone? Zell would have paid the price for his absence. Sadly he realized that if he was going to continue to keep Zell safe, he couldn't afford to skip any more school.

  
"Squall? Ya there dude?"

  
"Huh? Oh, sorry Zell, spaced out there for a second. I'm okay really. I'm sorry that I didn't meet you after school, I came home at lunch because something important came up."

  
"Oh……….Squall? Can I ask ya about this morning?"

  
Squall suddenly felt as if his skin were trying to crawl off of his bones. He closed his eyes and tried to will the shaking in his knees to stop. He didn't want this to be happening, he didn't want to have to talk about Shane or what had happened, especially with Zell. Why did he have to ask about this now?

  
Seifer watched Squall, not really understanding why he suddenly looked ill. It was Zell on the phone so shouldn't he be happy? He had said that Zell was his best friend, so what was he saying that could make him look like that? Something must be wrong with Zell.

  
"Zell, I…I know you don't understand, and I wish that I could explain……….but…… please just…… let it go, huh?"

  
Zell sighed on the other end of the line. He wanted more than anything to know what was going on, but he couldn't reason it out no matter how hard he tried. He knew that Squall hated Shane more than anyone, so why would he have gone off willingly with him and his buddies? It just didn't make any sense at all.

  
He sat down on his bed and looked at himself in the full-length mirror hanging on his closet door. Sadness etched his features as he held the phone to his ear. He didn't want to let this go, but experience had taught him that Squall wouldn't talk about something he didn't want to. Better to drop the subject and not bring it up again, than to have Squall clam up and never speak to him again.

  
"Alright, it's forgotten… hey did ya want to come over and watch some T.V. with me? There's a really cool show coming on that I think you would like."

  
Squall breathed a sigh of relief that Zell had let things be as they were, and allowed himself to smile a little. Zell's idea of cool shows generally meant it would be of the cartoon persuasion. Zell being the Anime freak he was, loved to drag Squall into all night marathons, but that was only because Squall punctuated the shows with comments like "You just know he's gay" and "How can anyone NOT know he's gay….you can't wear clothes like that or have hair like that and NOT BE GAY" to which Zell would laugh hysterically until tears would stream down his face and his sides would ache. Of course it was Squall's way of trying to let Zell know his own preference, but he never picked up on it. Sometimes Squall didn't know if he should be offended or grateful by that fact.

  
"I would love to Zell, but I can't. Quisty is home and Dad will want us all to be together for dinner."

  
"Oh, okay! Maybe later then, if Quisty is home and ya need a place to hide, come on over!"

  
Squall smiled again, "Okay, if things get a little hot around here I will be sure and come over."

  
"Great! The side door is open so just come on in if ya need to!"

  
Okay, I will talk to ya later."

  
Squall hung up the phone, and sighed heavily. He could feel Seifer's eyes on him and the unspoken questions hanging in the air. He turned and found Seifer's jade eyes staring unflinchingly at him, but instead of asking him about the phone call, he just smiled and walked toward the curtained window at the back of the room.  
He had wanted to ask what it had been all about, but if Squall wanted him to know he would tell him. And since he wasn't saying anything, he could only assume that it fell in the "none of your business" category.   
He moved the filmy curtain to the side and was surprised to discover that what he had thought was a large window was in fact a set of French Doors that led out to a terraced patio. In awe of his discovery, he opened the doors and sauntered out into the waning sunlight. 

  
He stepped to the railing and leaned over slightly so that he could see what was underneath the terrace, and heard a slight intake of breath behind him. He turned to see Squall standing at the threshold of the balcony, fear was more than apparent in his eyes.

  
"I take it you don't come out here."

  
Squall laughed a little nervously, "What gave you that impression?"

  
"Oh well geesh, I dunno, the fact that you are standing there looking like a scared rabbit? That and the fact that there isn't any patio furniture out here like there would have been if it were frequently used."

  
Seifer smiled at his deductive logic. It wasn't often that he was able to use it, especially when he knew it wasn't going to get hurt because of it.

  
"I…….don't like heights…….. kinda makes me feel a little woozy," he tried to smile a little at this but it came out looking more like he was trying to keep from being sick.

  
Seifer smiled at him and came away from the railing, holding out his hand to Squall. "Come on out, I won't let ya fall I promise."

  
"If it's all the same to you Seifer, I would rather not. Just being this close to the edge makes me wanna hurl."  
He did look a little green around the gills, so Seifer dropped his hand and shrugged. "It's alright…………hey, someone's coming up the drive."

  
Squall chanced a peek and sighed heavily as he realized whose car it was. 

  
"Dad's home."

  
Both boys exited the room and headed for the stairs as the front door opened.

  
"I'm home," Laguna said as he set his briefcase beside the door.

  
Quistis appeared in the doorway of the dining room, "Hi Dad, dinner is almost ready. Go wash up and I will have Squall set the table."

  
Laguna grinned from ear to ear and hugged Quistis enthusiastically. "Great to have you home sweetheart. Try not to ruffle Squall's feathers okay?"

  
Seifer noticed a sneer cross Squall's lips before he headed down the stairs. He wondered silently why he didn't like Quistis. Although she had walked in on him in the bathroom, she didn't seem like she was all that bad. But then again, he didn't have any siblings so he really couldn't make that kind of judgment. Perhaps her being his sister just naturally instilled hostility.

  
As they came into the dining room, Quistis sighed. "Is he staying for dinner too?" looking pointedly at Seifer.  
Squall looked annoyed but nodded as he got down the plates to set the table.

  
"Well, make sure you both wash up before dinner," she said as she turned back to the stove.

  
The annoyed look on Squall's face quickly turned into one of anger, but before he could blow up at Quistis, the force that was Laguna blew into the kitchen, spreading charm and good humor and effectively quelling the oncoming argument between Squall and Quistis.

  
Seifer was instantly charmed by this man, his sense of humor was infectious and soon they were all sitting around the table laughing. 

  
Squall couldn't believe the transformation that Seifer seemed to undergo in Laguna's presence. He showed just how intelligent and funny he could be, and he couldn't help but laugh even if Quistis were here. It wasn't until Laguna retired to his study to do some more work that things started to go wrong.

  
"You and your friend clear the table and do the dishes, I have to go unpack my things."

  
"He has a name you know!" Squall could feel his anger rising, and he couldn't really help it. 

  
"I know he has a name, Squall," she sighed exasperatedly. "Why do you always do this? As soon as I open my mouth you are jumping down my throat. You seem to have some serious anger issues and if you aren't going to talk to a professional about it then at least don't take it out on me!"

  
"That's your answer for everything isn't it Quisty. If you don't like something talk to a professional, well seeing as how I don't want to have anything to do with you or your chosen profession, let me make a suggestion of my own! DROP DEAD!"

"Oh yes Squall, that was without a doubt really immature and childish. Anything else you want to add? Like maybe throw a tantrum on the living room floor?

"Whatever, Quistis, at least I have feelings to express and aren't anal retentive in that area. It must have taken years to learn how to be that much of cold hearted Bitch!"

  
With that he stormed out of the dining room leaving a confused Seifer to follow in his wake. When they were once again in Squall's room, Seifer watched as he angrily opened the cedar chest and pulled out a few sketch books and closed the chest again with an angry thump. Not having anything better to do, Seifer laid on the bed to watch Squall's angry movements bring to life a drawing. Curiosity finally got the better of him, so he moved closer to Squall so that he could actually see what he was drawing instead of just watching the motions.

  
What he saw made him chuckle at first then laugh right out loud. It was a series of drawings made in comic book fashion of the scene that had played out in the kitchen, but instead of him drawing himself storming out, the last little box had him trying to stuff Quistis down the garbage disposal with a plunger.

  
Squall smiled sheepishly and turned the page over so that he could do another drawing. He was glad that Seifer had found his drawings funny, but he really did want to stuff her down the disposal.

  
"Why don't you like her? I mean, she seemed like she was an okay person. A little bossy but still okay."

  
Seifer's question made him stop drawing for a moment so that he could think of just how to answer his question. His eyes glazed over as if they were seeing another time and place.

  
"When we were little we used to get along great. She and I did everything together, but when Mom got sick, things began to change. She got distant and then applied to a college that was really far away. She hardly ever called and almost never wrote. When Mom finally died, she didn't even have the decency to come to the funeral, saying that she had finals that week, as if they wouldn't let her make them up. Then as if that hadn't been enough of a slap in the face, when she does decide to come home, she starts acting as if she has the right to take the place of my mother! She starts telling me what to do, where to go, what time to be home. She takes me shopping for clothes that she picks out and never asks for my opinion. And now she has the audacity to say and do what she did in the kitchen? Well excuse me for being a bit hostile. I think I have the right too."

  
Seifer didn't know what to say. He watched as Squall's face clouded over and the tears began to fall. One slipped off his chin to land on the sketch pad, and Seifer felt his heart break. He could handle Squall being angry but every time he broke down, it was more than he could take. 

  
His arms found their way around his shoulders and pulled him close to his chest. He could feel the sobs wracking his body and soaking his shirt but he didn't care. All that mattered was that he could give him comfort, if just for a moment. He pulled him higher up into his lap and wrapped his arms tighter around him. He whispered things into his ear and gently rubbed his back. 

  
It was some time before his sobs subsided, but even after they did he made no move to leave Seifer's arms. He felt safe and secure wrapped in that embrace and for once he felt as if nothing in this world could touch him. He raised his head to look at Seifer and when jade met gray, it was as if the world suddenly had stopped turning. Squall didn't know if he moved of it was Seifer, not that it really mattered. All that did matter was that his lips were planted firmly against Seifer's. His arms snaked around Seifer's neck, pulling him even closer.

  
Seifer couldn't believe that he was kissing him, but it felt so good and so right that he let himself become lost in the moment. Allowing the kiss to deepen until their tongues wrestled against each other. It was the most incredible feeling that Seifer had even experienced, and he wanted to feel more. His hands wandered under the back of Squall's shirt to caress the soft skin he found underneath, but apparently that had been the wrong thing to do because he felt Squall shudder and suddenly pull away, leaving his embrace and his lap. Seifer was both bewildered by what had just happened and disappointed that it had ended. He also wondered if he had done something wrong or offended Squall in some way.

  
"I…..I'm sorry." It was all he could think of to say.

  
** (End Chapter 9)**

**A/N: **Well another chapter is done, I am sorry it has taken me so long to post this but my muses seem to have decided it would be funny to fly to Cancun without me! Hope you liked it, please leave me lots of reviews..... maybe I can tempt my muses back if I can convince them that I am a bit more exciting that men in skimpy swim wear.........awww who am I kidding.......there's no competition....... *sigh*


	10. The Voices in My Head

**Thanks to Avatar Infidel for doing the Beta on this! She deserves much praise! **

**Chapter 10**

Squall heard the apology and knew that Seifer probably thought he was mad, he wasn't, but how could he explain that without telling him what the problem was?

_'Would he ever want to kiss me again or want to hold me or even touch me if he knew?'_

The kiss had been alright, okay, more than alright, it had been fabulous. But when Seifer's hands had touched his bare back, he couldn't help but feel revulsion course through his body. He shuddered involuntarily even at the memory of it. 

Seifer watched him shudder and felt hope die inside. He shouldn't have kissed him, shouldn't have touched him. It was too much to bear. He got up and quickly rushed out of the room, nearly knocking over Laguna in his haste to leave the house. Hated and unwanted tears stung his cheeks as he ran. He'd been only been deluding himself that he could have been part of something that wonderful, that special. 

He didn't know where he was running to but that didn't matter. Not even the tears coursing down his cheeks mattered anymore. He'd blown his one and only chance at happiness. 

Squall turned around, meaning to tell Seifer why he reacted the way he did, only to discover his bedroom door open and that Seifer was no longer in the room. His eyebrows furrowed together and the thought that he might have gone home made him panic. He rushed down the stairs after him, but was stopped by a worried Laguna.  

"Hey, slow down there, where's the fire? That's twice now that I have almost been trampled by overexcited teenagers, and in my own home to boot!" 

"Sorry Dad, can't talk now, I gotta go after Seifer!" 

Laguna scratched his head and watched Squall run down the stairs and out the front door. He wondered briefly if they had gotten into a fight, but then remembered why he had been coming upstairs in the first place. Being pleased that he had remembered, he forgot about Squall for the moment and knocked on Quistis's door. 

Out on the street, Squall looked both ways and didn't see a sign of Seifer anywhere. 

_'Please don't let him have gone home. I wouldn't be able to stand myself if he went back there because of me!'_

Without further hesitation he headed towards the school, not really knowing where Seifer lived was going to be a problem, but he was determined to apologize and bring him back to the house, where he could explain his reaction. 

___________________________________________________________________________________

Seifer sat on the bleachers watching as the sun made its slow decent behind the horizon. Tears fell like raindrops, splashing down on his clenched fists in his lap. 

_'Why do things always go wrong? Why does it seem like I am destined to always be lonely and hurt? Why did I kiss him anyway?'_

There were too many questions and not enough answers. He felt as if he were alone, floating on a sea of despair and loneliness. The despair he could handle but it was the loneliness that was slowly killing him inside. It didn't help matters that he had finally had a taste of what friendship was like and now all it did was leave a bitter aftertaste of things better left untouched. 

His back began to ache again, and for a moment he allowed himself to cry bitterly from the pain. He bent forward and buried his head into his lap. Not for the first time, the thought of suicide came to mind. It would finally put at end to all of the pain. Not just the physical pain from his many scars, but also from the scars on the inside that hurt even worse. Those wounds that could never be healed with medicine, the scars that could never be numbed enough. No matter how many pills he took or how much he drank. It was always there, haunting him and laughing at him when he thought there might be hope. 

He reached inside his boot for his knife and laughed bitterly when he remembered that he had left it in Squall's bedroom. 

_'Great, I can't even kill myself right. Oh well, at least I still have my pills, maybe if I take all of them at once it will be enough to finally do myself in. I don't want to wait for my dad to do it, if I'm going to go out of this world I want to do it on my own terms, no one else's.'_

He sat up, digging in his pocket and retrieved the bottle of pills. He opened it and spilled the little blue and white ovals into his hand. 

_'Twenty pills left. Just twenty little pills that stand between oblivion and myself, it isn't like I would be hurting anyone else. No one else cares whether or not I live or fucking die so why not? Why don't I just do it and save the world the trouble? There won't be any tears shed over my grave, hell I would be surprised if they even gave me a funeral.' _

_'But what about Squall? Don't you think that he would care?'_

His mind tried to reason with that part of himself that still hoped, still dreamed of something better. Savagely he tried to squash those thoughts, but to no avail. If Squall cared as much as he seemed to, then why was he sitting out here in the dark at the school and not in Squall's bedroom? 

_'Maybe he's as scared as you are about what seems to be happening.'_

"Maybe," he said out loud. 

_'I mean really, have you ever thought about another guy before? No, you haven't, and chances are that he hasn't either. He's probably as confused as you are. Kissing another guy has never been on your list of things to do, and it probably wasn't on his either. So lets take a moment and really think about this.'_

_First of all_,_ why are you out here? You're here because you think he rejected you. Well, aren't you reading a bit more into it then there really was? Come on, you're stronger than that. Why didn't you just stay and face up to it. He kissed you back didn't he? So there has to be some kind of attraction there. Admit it, the reason you're really sitting out here trying to decide whether or not to kill yourself is because you're having difficulty accepting that you might be gay.' _

"Might be?" 

_'Alright, that does seem to be a bit of an understatement, but really, so what if you are gay. What does that really matter? If Squall feels the same about you as you feel about him, isn't that the beginning of something wonderful?'_

"But, what if he doesn't? What if he was so repulsed by what happened that he never wants to speak to me again?" 

_'You'll never know the answer to that question unless you go back and talk about it. If you go back and find out for sure, then you won't have to sit out here and wonder, now will you?!'_

"Maybe I don't want to know. Maybe all I want to do is just die and get it over with." 

'_Or maybe you're just too scared to find out that he really does care about you. The idea of someone caring and loving you is a foreign concept. Maybe the reason you're out here isn't as black and white as you first thought.'_

"And maybe I think too much!"

_'Maybe you do, but as long as you're asking these questions of yourself, wouldn't it be wise_ _to actually find out the answers instead of just assuming you already know them? Or are you too afraid? Too scared of what someone else might think?__ Someone close to you. Someone who hurts you, someone like your father?_

"SHUT UP!"

His hand shook a little as he brought the bottle to his lips, intent on swallowing the last remaining part of his pride along with the handful of pills.

_'COWARD! I can't believe that you're even considering this! You're stronger than that! What that bastard thinks about you shouldn't matter! He hurt you, yes, but that's what made you strong! Don't let him win like this, make the bastard pay by outliving him!_

"Seifer!" 

The sound of his name echoing down the football field brought his hand down. He recognized Squall's voice but he couldn't face him, not now. He toyed with the idea of just swallowing the pills before he got to him, but his arm felt like lead. More tears welled up and spilled down his cheeks, leaving their damning trails of shame in their wake. 

Squall was relieved that he had found him and that Seifer hadn't gone home. He jogged across the field feeling as if the distance between them would never close fast enough, and before he knew it he was sprinting as fast as he could. 

Seifer lifted his head just in time to catch a flying Squall catapulting towards him. The pills he had in his hand spilled onto the ground as instinct made him catch Squall. 

Pain blossomed and burst into tiny red dots behind his eyes as Squall firmly attached his arms around Seifer's back. He gasped but didn't attempt to remove Squall. 

"I'm sorry Seifer, I really am. I…I need to tell you why…why I reacted like that…but…I don't want you to go away and if I tell you …you might not want to be around me anymore…I don't want that. I couldn't stand it if that happened." 

Seifer heard his words even though they were muffled against his neck. Hesitantly he brought his arms up and wrapped them around Squall who was sitting in his lap. 

Squall squeezed him a bit tighter, not wanting to let go of him for fear that once he knew about what was happening, he wouldn't want to touch him again. 

"I…know what I need to say, but I just can't think of an easy way of saying it." 

Tears began streaming down Squall's face. God, he didn't want to do this, but what choice did he have? He was torn between not wanting Seifer to think that he didn't like what had happened and the shame of what had been done to him. 

"Squall, it's okay, I don't need to know. If it is as bad as you think it is, then maybe you shouldn't tell me."

"No…I really need to tell you why…"

Squall took a deep breath and tightly closed his eyes, burying his head deeper into Seifer's neck. 

"Shanehasbeenrapingmesincelastyear." 

The words tumbled out of his mouth in a rush, and he hoped that it would be enough of an explanation for Seifer. He didn't want to have to go into details unless he had to. 

Stunned, Seifer's eyes widened and he tried to pry Squall's arms off of him so that he could look at his face, but Squall's grip was as if it were made of iron. Finally giving up on that course of action, he settled for just wrapping his arms as tightly around Squall as was comfortably possible. 

Slowly Seifer began to rock Squall, waiting for the initial shock of his revelation to wear off so that he could figure out what to do. 

There were no words of comfort that Seifer could give that would make the pain leave, or banish his fears, no magical potion he could give him that would somehow turn back time. His secret was an awful one and there were no words, no actions that could be taken to relieve his suffering. The only thing Seifer could do was be there for him. Be there and try to keep it from happening again. 

Ever.

Squall wasn't going to face this thing alone. How could he? He had been doing it so far and it was obviously tearing apart the last reserves of his sanity.

Softly he whispered into Squall's ear as he rocked him. Yes, they were platitudes nothing more, but saying them strengthened Seifer's resolve, and his determination to see that this never happened again. If he had to, he would spend every waking minute with Squall. Not such a bad punishment from his standpoint. 

As the night breeze began to blow softly through the trees, and the moon began to rise, Seifer made a choice that would forever damn him in the eyes of his father, and probably most of his peers as well. He made the choice to follow where his heart led him, and looking down into the eyes of the smaller boy he held, he felt his heart swell and he found that he didn't care what others thought. All that mattered was that, for the first time in his life, he felt at peace. 

**(End Chapter 10)**


	11. Interrupted Pleasures

Chapter 11

They walked from the school holding hands; each buried in silence and their thoughts. Raw emotions lay just beneath the surface of that silence, and the electricity generated was palpable in the air around them. Neither of them wished to break the magic of that moment. For once in both of their lives, there was someone who knew and understood them completely, and that was magical indeed. 

As they approached Squall's front door, their hands broke contact, but not before each gave the other a reassuring squeeze. 

They didn't encounter anyone on the way to Squall's room, and for both of them that was a relief, though for different reasons. Seifer didn't want to have to be polite and Squall didn't want to offer an explanation, so it worked out rather well. Once inside the protective walls of Squall's room and with the door securely locked, they breathed a collective sigh of relief.

Seifer knew that they needed to talk about things, but he was both unsure of how to break the silence and of what to say. So instead of trying to force conversation, he simply crawled onto the bed. Glancing at Squall's clock, he realized that this was the longest he'd ever been away from home and he couldn't help but wonder if they were worried about him. The thought caused a rueful smirk to come to his lips.

Squall had been watching Seifer out of the corner of his eye and when that bitter sneer crossed the other's lips, he raised an eyebrow in concern.

"You okay?"

Seifer glanced up at him and sighed.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just wondering if my parents were concerned in the slightest about me. Which, of course, is bullshit. They probably haven't even noticed that I'm not home yet."

"Oh.well, if it's any consolation I'm glad you're here, and not at home. I'd be worried sick about you if you weren't."

The smirk turned into a full smile at Squall's words. 

"Oh really?"

"Yes really.now, don't move."

Seifer quirked an eyebrow, what in the world did he mean by that? He watched as Squall walked over the large cedar chest and pulled out a sketchbook. Closing the lid, he promptly sat on it, pulling his knees towards his chest. Bracing the sketchpad against his thighs, he began to draw. Every now and then, Seifer could see his eyes peek over the book to glance at him.

He loved Squall's eyes and how they seemed to reflect whatever emotion he was feeling. He'd heard somewhere that the eyes were windows to the soul and Seifer could see that it was true, especially with Squall. 

The sketch had been started mainly out of something to do, but as Squall began the outline of Seifer's body, he realized that this was going to be more difficult than he had first thought. It wasn't the drawing that was difficult - it was the subject. 

A flush stained his cheeks as he drew the first tentative strokes. There was something.intimate about this, and he almost stopped. But as his gaze darted over the sketchbook, he found Seifer's eyes watching him and it made him smile. 

With the outline done, Squall began the process that would turn the ovals and circles into a real drawing. He started with the face and head, and as he moved down to the neck and chest, he realized that he didn't want clothes in the way. He wanted this drawing to mirror the reality of what Seifer was. 

Wordlessly, Squall sat the sketchbook down and moved over to Seifer, pulling him into a sitting position. He looked braver than he felt but, when Seifer didn't protest upon removal of his shirt, a feeling of peace quelled the butterflies in Squall's stomach. Seifer wouldn't hurt him, he wasn't Shane, and for once he was in control of the situation and not just being forced to react. He couldn't bring himself to look into Seifer's eyes, but he did softly trace a faded scar that lay almost hidden within the fine golden hairs dusted below his navel. Seifer shuddered almost imperceptibly under his fingers, and that brought a rush of heat directly to Squall's groin. 

Gently he unsnapped Seifer's jeans and slowly slid down the zipper. He could feel the heat of the blush on his cheeks and his hands shook slightly, but he managed to get the fabric to lay like he wanted it to, parted in sort of a "V" shape that exposed more of Seifer's skin, and just the barest hint of pubic hair. The fact that Seifer wasn't wearing underwear brought a small smile to his lips. Gently, Squall eased Seifer slowly back down to the bed, repositioning him, so that he lay on his side with his head resting on his arm, and then moved rather quickly back to his seat on the cedar chest.

Seifer struggled for his breath. When Squall removed his shirt, his palms had begun to sweat, and the soft touch just below his navel had almost brought a moan of pleasure to his lips. He shuddered involuntarily, trying to keep his reaction to Squall's touch at a bare minimum, but when Squall unbuttoned his jeans, he couldn't help but draw a shaky breath and hold it. He could see the flush on Squall's cheeks, and he wondered briefly if his cheeks would flush a deeper shade of crimson with passion. 

Quickly, Seifer tried to temper the rush of blood to his groin that his thoughts had brought, but it was a useless gesture. He was rock hard and couldn't help it one bit. Apparently Squall hadn't noticed though, and that was a good thing. As Squall positioned him where he wanted him, Seifer breathed in his scent and felt his arousal twitch with desire. He wanted to reach out and just brush the hair out of Squall's eyes, but he was too afraid of breaking the moment to try it. When Squall moved away from him, he almost whimpered, the cool rush of air hardening his nipples and making gooseflesh stand out on his arms. He immediately missed the heat that Squall's body had produced, but stayed just as he'd positioned him. If this was what Squall wanted, then that was what he would give him.

Time stood still as Squall worked, his hand crafted each line and curve lovingly and when it came time to fill in the face, his eyes searched out and found Seifer's. Had someone been watching, they would have noticed that Squall's eyes never left Seifer's as he drew his face. His hand moved as if of it's own accord, reproducing exactly what his eyes perceived. 

Seifer's breathing slowed to a crawl and he felt as if he were floating away. Squall's eyes were like blue liquid fire that he could feel burning into him. This was an experience unlike any he'd ever had before, and he only wanted to go on feeling it forever. The outside world didn't matter. No crazy, drunken father could ever touch him here, and that sense of security made everything he had gone through up to this point almost worthwhile. 

Squall set aside the sketchbook, and without breaking eye contact with Seifer, he got up and moved slowly over to where the other lay. He kneeled near him and both hands reached out for his face and pulled him close, brushing his lips against Seifer's in a slow and unhurried kiss that spoke of barely contained passion.

Thinking he would go mad if he didn't do something, Seifer reached up with his free hand to caress the back of Squall's hand as it cupped his face. When Squall didn't flinch or pull away, he allowed his hand to trail further up his arm until it had reached his shoulder. Squeezing it gently, he urged the slender body down to lie next to his.

Squall's hands moved away from Seifer's face and wandered softly down his neck and trailed down his chest, causing Seifer to shudder pleasurably, moaning softly into the kiss. Leisurely Squall's hand traveled down to gently caress the skin his open jeans exposed. 

Seifer gasped and his hands flexed along Squall's back. When his fingers deftly brushed along the length of his arousal, Seifer thought he would explode. 

A loud and rushed knock at Squall's bedroom door shattered the moment, making both boys groan. Squall leaned his forehead against Seifer's and let out an exasperated sigh. 

"Whoever it is, I'm going to kill them!"

Seifer chuckled deep in his chest and gently squeezed Squall's shoulder.

"Don't worry about it. We have all night," he whispered.

Squall looked up quickly into Seifer's eyes. It was no longer a question of if it would happen, it had moved to a question of when. Part of Squall wanted to fight against it, to say no, that it would never occur, yet the rest of him longed for the healing that would come by moving on. By finding someone who wouldn't hurt him, and Seifer was that person. 

Taking a deep breath he got up and went to answer the door.

                                           (End Chapter 11) 

**A/N:** Okay, here is what my returning muses have produced! I hope it satisfies everyone's desire to read this story. To be honest, I am finding that this one seems to get more attention than Redemption and that is really strange seeing as how this is an AU and not set in the actual game setting like Redemption is. Maybe it is because it deals with a lot of real life issues I don't really know.  If any of you feel the desire to do so, please try and put into words why it is that you like this fic.. I don't care how long they are, in fact I love long reviews.. that is how I found my Beta Avatar Infidel who incidentally deserves much praise for her work here. Thanks sweetie, you truly made this Chapter all that it could be without detracting one bit from what I wanted to say! 

Okay now to answer a few of my reviews..

**Fade to Black: ** I will be more than willing to tell you all about why I disappeared for a while, feel free to e-mail me and I will rant for hours about it! But only for you! I am really glad that you didn't give up on me and that you returned with your Yaoi begging mat. I look forward to hearing from you! SO GET TO E-MAILING BOY... Zencreation@yahoo.com

**Mistal: **Here is your update and no you aren't crazy, you did read Chapter 10 before, but I did some revamping on it before reposting it!

**To everyone else: **Thanks for leaving me so many wonderful reviews! I look forward to many many more in the near future!         JA NE!


	12. Persistant Friends and Irritating Family

**(Chapter 12)**

Squall's irritation at being interrupted melted away when he opened the door and discovered Zell standing there. His arms were full of potato chips, popcorn, soda, and a backpack full of anime movies he had rented. 

"If Mohammed won't come to the mountain, the mountain must come to Mohammed!"

Squall smiled in spite of himself and opened the door wider for Zell to come inside.

Sighing heavily, Zell dropped the snacks and the backpack onto the floor and began to take off his shoes. It was then that he noticed Seifer lying on the bed. His eyes opened wide and he fought to find something to say, especially since Seifer had his shirt off and his jeans unzipped.

Seifer just gazed lazily at Zell, waiting for him to say something, but when it became obvious that he was just going to stare, he flicked his gaze up to Squall, who just shrugged his shoulders.

An evil smirk crossed Seifer's lips, and Squall could tell that it meant trouble. 

"See something you like?" Seifer asked, his words dripping sarcasm.

Zell's face immediately turned a lovely shade of beet red, and he hastily switched his gaze to the floor. He knew he'd been staring – but it wasn't because he liked what he saw, he just couldn't fathom why Seifer Almasy, of all people, was lying on Squall's bed…not to mention the fact that he was practically naked and looking as if he'd been beaten within an inch of his life. What the hell was going on?

"Aww, isn't that cute? He's embarrassed about being attracted to me." 

Seifer's comment brought Zell's head up with a snap. "I'm not attracted to you!" he sneered.

"Hey, it's okay! You can admit it, you're among friends…we won't tell a soul. What's the matter? You aren't a Chicken Wuss, are you?"

Zell's hands clenched at his sides – the one thing he couldn't stand being called was a chicken. Shaking with rage, he forgot that this was Seifer Almasy, a boy twice his size and with an unbeaten track record when it came to fights. "What did you call me?!"

"I called you a Chicken Wuss," Seifer stated, enjoying the reaction his words provoked.

The tension hung in the air, thick and ominous, and for the space of a few seconds, it was as if none dared to breathe for fear of it crushing them. Seifer glared steadily at Zell, who, to his credit, glared straight back.

Squall watched all of this happen, suddenly feeling as if he were on some crazy roller coaster ride with no track to follow, instead just a winding path of fleeting emotions that left him dizzy and confused.

On one hand he had Seifer, a new friend that needed his help and one that had reassured Squall both of his worth and of his chance for an existence outside of being Shane's plaything. Seifer made him feel alive for the first time since last year. But hearing him be so cruel to Zell was like watching a complete stranger take over – this wasn't the Seifer Squall had come to know. The Seifer he knew was kind and selfless, always ready with a soft touch or a gentle word for him. And now he saw for the first time the Seifer that his father had created, the Seifer that hurt first and asked questions later, and that it was Zell he was hurting was almost more than Squall could bear.

Zell, whom he'd known since kindergarten, and who had never let him down – no matter what the outcome was. He'd fought for Squall many times and had been beaten up for it. He owed Zell a lot for his patience and for his unquestioning loyalty. He couldn't ask for a better friend and Squall knew just how cutting Seifer's words were to him, Zell didn't like being called a chicken; that word set him off like a house on fire. 

Squall hung his head, staring at the floor. Seeing them act this way to each other hurt him more deeply than he could express…but what could he do? There had to be something he could say that would diffuse the situation without causing any more harm, but just what those words were, Squall didn't know. He wasn't good with situations like this. 

Thinking as quickly as he could, he decided that distraction was probably the next best thing. Zell didn't have the world's greatest attention span, so maybe he could make him forget about what Seifer had said by reminding him why he came over in the first place.

Squall turned and opened his closet. Stepping inside, he had to quell the desire to just stay in there until things blew over. That wouldn't be a good thing, seeing as the two people he cared most about would probably hurt each other in his absence. 

Distracted by Squall's actions, Seifer wondered why the younger boy had gone into the closet. He didn't have to wonder for long, though, as Squall soon wheeled out a television and VCR on a small cart. 

"Zell, can you give me a hand with this?" he asked.

"Sure," Zell smiled, helping to wheel the cart against the wall with the mural of the flower field.

Once they got everything plugged in, Zell opened his backpack and pulled out some of the tapes, sorting through them.

Squall turned around rather shakily and plopped down on the bed beside Seifer. He didn't want to think about the situation he'd just diverted, and hopefully it wouldn't come up again. A hand on his shoulder made him jump a little, but stayed firmly planted where it was and began to knead some of the tension from him. Squall closed his eyes and let the hand work it's magic. Soon it was joined by another, and Squall leaned into Seifer's touch, forgetting for the moment that they were not alone. But all too soon the hands left his shoulders and he realized that he was being spoken to.

"…sure you want to watch this one? Cowboy Bebop is one of my favorites too. You ready to…?" Zell trailed off. He hadn't been expecting to see Seifer touching Squall. Squall didn't like to be touched, so what was this? He watched as Seifer removed his hands from Squall's shoulders and lay down again. A feeling he couldn't name settled like a hot poker inside his stomach, though he decided for Squall's sake to just ignore what he had seen, and, without another word, switched on the movie.

It wasn't long before Squall and Zell fell into their old routine of Squall making comments and Zell laughing like a maniac. Seifer laughed a couple of times early on, but soon he grew silent when he realized that it was like he wasn't even in the room. They were both so involved in the movie that Seifer felt like an outsider watching from a window. He knew that Zell was Squall's friend and it wasn't fair for him to be feeling jealous, but he'd never had a friend before and having to share Squall wasn't something he was used to, nor something to which he wanted to adapt. 

Halfway through the movie, Seifer got up and left the room, softly shutting the door behind him. He wasn't leaving the house, but he just couldn't stand being in that room with Zell much longer, the boy was getting on his nerves. Maybe Squall liked him, but Seifer was quickly discovering that Zell was not on his list of favorite people. 

Walking into the dining room, he found Quistis sitting at the table with a few books open and papers scattered everywhere: on the table, the chair next to her and the floor. He quirked an eyebrow and smirked – if college was this much work, he was glad he would never get to go. 

Quistis raised her head wearily and smiled distractedly at him. "Hello, Seifer. Did you need something?"

"Nah, I just came down here to get a drink of water," he said offhandedly, shrugging his shoulders. 

Quistis sighed deeply, removed her glasses and began to rub the bridge of her nose. "Distract me."

"Huh?" 

"I said distract me, I'm drowning in all this paperwork, so do me a favor and distract me."

"Oh, uh…how?"

Seifer wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to her, but she was smiling, so she couldn't mean him offense.

"Just talk to me, that's all."

"About what?" What in the world did she want? He was beginning to get uncomfortable, especially since he'd forgotten to put his shirt back on.

Quistis sighed again. "Nothing, never mind. I'll go and take a walk, perhaps that will clear my head."

Seifer could hear the former warmth and slight playfulness in her voice quickly replaced with cold indifference as she got up from the table and headed out the back door. He watched her retreating back and wondered if Squall could have gotten it wrong. Maybe she wasn't as bad as Squall thought she was. 

Shaking his head he got himself a glass from the cupboard and turned on the cold water. Drinking his fill, he rinsed the glass and set it in the dishwasher. Turning around, he almost had a heart attack. Laguna stood behind him with a concerned look on his face. What had he been doing? Looking at his back? Why?

He gripped the edge of the counter hard and waited for the inevitable questions that would come. 

Laguna knew the boy was probably afraid of what he would say. He hadn't meant to stare or even get that close, but as he passed through the dining room, he'd caught sight of Seifer's back and it was almost more than he could bear. Squall had said that his friend was in trouble, but he had no idea that it was this bad. Who could do something that horrific to a child? He just couldn't fathom the trauma that the boy had sustained, and he could tell that this was not the first such beating he'd endured either, his back a criss-cross canvas of fading scars and fresh wounds.

Seifer had expected questions, but as he watched Laguna's eyes mist over with unshed tears, he suddenly felt angry. He didn't want pity, certainly not from Squall's father. A lot of invasive questions would have been easier to handle, anything but that look of sympathy. He tried to brush past Laguna, but the man put his hands on Seifer's shoulders and stopped him. Seifer had to try very hard to remind himself that this was Squall's father and that he was a guest in his home. If that weren't the case, he would have laid the man out for touching him.

Laguna saw his anger, and wanted nothing more than to tell Seifer that everything was okay, but he knew that those words would have little to no meaning to him at all. He didn't want to make him any angrier so he dropped his hands and shoved them into his pockets. 

Seifer glared at him one last time and departed. 

Watching him go, Laguna decided that the best thing he could do for the boy was get him permanently out of the situation he was in. Of course he hadn't said anything about who'd done that to him, but then again it didn't take a genius to figure out that he was being hurt at home. Walking quickly back to his study he closed the sliding double doors and picked up the phone on his desk to call his lawyer. Kiros would be able to tell him exactly what could be done about Seifer without causing more trouble – he was a reliable person and Laguna knew that he would do all he could to help.

He dialed Kiros' home number, tapping his fingers impatiently against the desk as he waited for him to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Kiros, it's Laguna."

"Hey, what can I do for you?"

"Well, I have a sticky situation that I need some advice on how to deal with."

"Squall isn't in trouble, is he?"

"No, it isn't Squall, but it is one of his friends. The kid is being beaten at home, and right now I have him staying at my house."

"Oh, that _is _a sticky situation. Do the parents know where he is?"

"I don't know for sure, Kiros, but I think it's safe to say no, they don't."

"Hmm…you could be opening yourself up to a world of trouble, Laguna."

"Kiros if you saw what that kid's back looked like, you'd care even less about that than I do right now. I just need some advice on what I should do. Should I keep him here and get the Social Services involved?"

"That depends on how involved you want to get with this. You can report the abuse to the Social Services and let them proceed from there, or you can get really involved and put in a bid for custody as a foster parent. But I warn you, treading that path means a lot of court costs and paperwork, not to mention the fact that you'll have to be investigated as well by the Social Services to determine whether or not your home is a suitable place for the kid."

Laguna was silent for a moment as he thought about what he wanted to do. There was no question about whether or not he wanted to get involved – he already had. Seifer was in his home and had probably run away, so if there was a chance in hell to save him, then he was going to have to let the Social Services call the shots for a bit. Not that he had anything to hide, but Squall was a rather private person and having someone poking around in his private life might be a bad idea. Not even Laguna knew everything there was to know about Squall. 

"I guess I have to think about this some more Kiros. Not that I would mind being looked into by Social Services, it's more Squall that I'm worried about. You know how manic he gets about people sticking their noses into his business."

"Alright, just think about what I told you and let me know if you want to proceed. I have a feeling that you will so I'll give you a bit more advice. If the Social Services are even going to consider your bid as a foster parent, you better start taking care of this kid. What I mean by that is, of course, shelling out some major money for clothing and other necessities. If nothing else, they'll take that into consideration. Also, if you're better able to provide for this kid than any of his immediate family members, you stand a better chance of getting him."

"Okay, I'll talk to Squall and see what he has to say on the matter. It's really as much of his decision as it is mine, seeing as how he is going to have to share the house with him."

"Okay, just let me know. Later Laguna and good luck with Squall."

"Thanks Kiros."

Laguna hung up the phone and stared off into empty space. This was definitely going to be an experience…he just hoped that it didn't turn around and bite him in the butt. Well, at least tomorrow was Saturday, that meant he could let Squall take Seifer shopping for some new clothes and such. 

Sighing deeply, he remained unable to remove from his mind's eye just how bad Seifer's back had looked. If he thought that it would help, he'd march straight up to whoever it was that had hurt him and knock their block off…

Outside on the porch, Seifer shivered at the coolness of the night air against his bare skin, wishing that he hadn't forgotten his shirt upstairs. In fact, he'd already decided to go back inside and retrieve it, when the soft sounds of someone crying reached him. Forgetting about the shirt for the moment, he shifted from his position and followed the quiet sounds. Stepping carefully to avoid crunching fallen leaves, he came around the side of the garage and found Quistis sitting with her back against the wall, her head buried in her arms which she had propped up on her knees. Not really wanting to disturb her, he turned to go, but some slight noise alerted Quistis to his presence. 

"Have you ever lost someone close to you?"

Her question caught Seifer off guard. He hadn't expected to be spoken to, but he supposed anything was better than going back inside at the moment. Turning around, he folded his arms over his chest, partly to warm himself, partly as a protective gesture. "Never really cared about anyone enough to notice," he said, shrugging his shoulders slightly.

Quistis eyed him carefully, he had obviously been abused and would make an interesting case study, but right now that was hardly on her agenda. For far too long she had avoided talking to someone about her feelings and sometimes it was just easier to talk to a stranger. "Do you mind if I talk to you?"

Seifer shrugged again, not really sure if he wanted to talk to her or not. But as long as the conversation remained on her and not him, he supposed that it would be all right.

Quistis sighed deeply and stood up, absentmindedly dusting herself off. "You look cold, do you want to go back inside? We can go to my room if you don't mind. I have a feeling that the reason you're out here rather than upstairs with Squall is that you didn't take to Zell too much."

Seifer was surprised by her insight. Not a lot of people could read him, and she definitely hit the nail on the head with that one. His look of surprise must have been evident for she laughed bitterly.

"Don't worry, I've always been perceptive, not to mention Zell is the kind of person that has to grow on you. Luckily for me, I haven't been around long enough for that to happen, so you and I are pretty much in the same boat."

Seifer smiled slightly, and turned toward the back door, motioning for Quistis to take the lead. Together they ascended the stairs and re-entered the kitchen, where Quistis paused to pick up her books. Seifer watched her struggle with them for a moment before reaching out and taking a couple off the top of the stack. She smiled gratefully and led the way to her room.

Once inside, she dumped her books on the bed and offered Seifer a chair, which he took, sitting in uncomfortable silence as the moments dragged by, the only sound being the faint noise of Squall's television and the occasional burst of laughter that filtered in from outside. These sounds should have been comforting, but instead made him feel all the more like an outsider.

Quistis observed his nervous behavior. Normally would have tried to put him at ease, but at the moment she wasn't feeling particularly helpful. She knew she was suffering from depression and anxiety, and being home just wasn't helping as much as she'd thought it would. Though she'd dragged Seifer to her room with the intention of talking, now that he was there she suddenly didn't want to anymore. Frustrated at her own indecisiveness, the thought that she'd be forever burdened with her own inability to cope overwhelmed her and she burst into tears.

Seifer didn't know what to do for her. He'd only met her a few hours before, and here she was, crying. Why did girls act like that? What the hell did they expect a guy to do? Comfort them? Cry with them? Make things better? He didn't know, and now he was more at a loss than he had been when she burst in on him in the bathroom. The only thing he was sure of was that he didn't want to be in her room anymore. Squall crying had been heart wrenching for him, but Quistis's tears just made him nervous.

Aware that she was making a spectacle of herself, Quistis felt like screaming. Instead she took a deep breath and grabbed a tissue. "I'm terribly sorry," she said, blowing her nose. "I don't know what came over me. Please stay, I really need to talk to someone right now and I think you're probably the best person."

"…Why?"

"Because sometimes talking to a stranger is easier than talking to your family. But…since you look like you're ready to run for the door, you can leave at any time. I won't force you to stay and listen."

Seifer thought it over. If he left her room, that meant either returning to Squall's, or taking a chance on encountering Laguna again. Either way he was going to have to do something he didn't want to do, so he might as well take the lesser of the two evils and stay. There was no harm in just listening…right? "I guess I'll stay, but just don't expect me to be some sort of miracle worker, cause I got problems of my own – I really don't need this shit."

Quistis was slightly surprised by his candor. Not even in her Psych class had she found such honesty. It was unusual given that she'd already labeled him as needy and probably dishonest, an evaluation that she quickly amended. It seemed that Seifer was turning out to be more of an enigma than she had originally thought, and if she wasn't careful, she just might find that she could like him – a thought that made her smile, despite her puffy eyes and runny nose. "Thanks for being honest with me – you don't find that much these days. Most people would have just humored me and then talked about me behind my back."

Seifer merely nodded his affirmation.

"Squall has probably already filled your head with all sorts of notions about me, and while some of them may be true, there are some that he is completely wrong about. Ever since he was born I have lived in the shadow of the Golden Boy, he who could do no wrong in Mom and Dad's eyes. Especially Mom. She loved him so much and he loved her. They did practically everything together, and I will admit to being jealous. Who wouldn't have been? They shared so much in common that I felt as if I had been adopted. They were always going to art galleries and discussing classical literature, and I felt as if there were no room for me in that, so instead of trying to share in that, I threw myself into my schoolwork. I don't mean to sound as if my Mother wasn't proud of me, she was. She always came to my school functions and congratulated me on my awards, but it was to Squall that she was devoted."

Seifer couldn't help but lean forward, listening intently. He hadn't thought he would find the subject interesting, but the more she talked about Squall, the more he wanted to know. "How come you didn't just tell her how you felt?" He asked, the question slipping out before he could stop it.

"I did try and tell her once, but all she did was hug me and tell me that one day I would shine just as bright. But that Squall needed her far more than I could know. She told me that I was strong and capable of doing whatever I set my mind to. I guess it was meant to be encouraging and helpful, but all it did was increase my bitterness. I even talked to Dad about it, but he just chalked it up to sibling rivalry. He isn't the most insightful person in the world, and would probably forget his own birthday if we didn't remind him every year. He means well, and I love him, honestly I do, but there are times when he makes a better doorstop than a father figure."

Seifer smirked, remembering his encounter with Laguna in the kitchen. "Yeah, I guess he does mean well, but I can't help but find him a bit on the creepy side."

"Dad? Creepy?" she smiled as she thought about it. "I think goofy would be a better word." 

They both shared a chuckle at Laguna's expense before she continued.

"By the time I graduated high school, I had already decided in my mind that there was really no room for me in this family. A very selfish attitude, I know, but I couldn't help it. I had the chance to go to the University here, but decided that the best course of action was for me to just move away. Maybe then I would begin to feel as if they really cared about me. I tried very hard not to think about it my first year away, and for a while it was easy to pretend that all was well. But then Mom got sick."

Tears began welling up in Quistis's eyes again and she blinked them back before they could fall. She blew her nose, sniffled a few times as she attempted to compose herself. Finally heaving a great sigh, she decided that she had gotten this far with it, she might as well continue on. 

"At first I came home every chance I got so that I could see her and try and help Dad out. Things weren't so bad then. She was still well enough to keep things pretty much together. She told me then not to worry about her illness, that I should just concentrate on my studies. She knew that midterms were coming up and that I have to work really hard because I am not the world's best student. I was flattered that she cared so much about my studies and decided that she was right. So I went back to the University and passed my midterms. It was when I came home for the summer that everything seemed to fall apart. Dad had taken her to a specialist and we were all floored when she was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor, with a prognosis of no more than six months. Squall was hit hardest of us all. He stopped eating, and as Mom wasted away, so did he. When she lost the ability to speak, he stopped talking. It was as if he was dying with her, and for the first time, I think I really started to understand what Mom had meant about him needing her more than I did."

Quistis heaved a great sigh and the tears that she had been trying so hard to hold back, burst through in a torrent. For so long she had avoided talking about this, and Seifer was surprisingly very easy to talk to. Yet the hardest part to tell was still to come. How she dreaded having to say those awful words, but even as she dreaded it, she could feel them burning in her chest.

"I don't like to admit that I am an awful person, but I have no other excuse to offer except that I am selfish. I couldn't stand to see Mom like that, and the fact that Squall was wasting away with her only cemented my resolve. I didn't want to think that my Mother could die, much less watch it happen. So I left. I went back to the University and threw myself into my studies. I comforted myself by saying that it was what my Mother wanted me to do, but it was a small comfort. I knew in my heart that I should have been here, but I just couldn't do it. When Dad called me to tell me she had finally passed away, I was so relieved. Isn't that awful? I knew my family was hurting and I was relieved that she was dead. I felt so guilty for feeling that way that I couldn't bring myself to even show my face at her funeral."

Seifer was quiet for several minutes, trying to find the right words to say. She had admired his honesty in the beginning, so maybe that was the way to go? Although the horror etched on Quistis' face at her admission gnawed at something within him, he had enough problems of his own without being weighed down by someone else's emotional baggage. Was he supposed to be the Guru of problem solving now?

Sighing, he shifted on the seat, wincing slightly when his back protested at the sudden movement.

"Look Quistis, I don't really know what it is you expect from me. I could just tell you what you want to hear, but in the end that would be wrong. You liked my honesty and so I'll give it to you. You feel guilty, fine, I got that, but here it is in a nutshell. Either talk to Squall about what you feel or quit whining about it. Nobody else can solve your problems for you, and I've got more than enough of my own."

With that said, Seifer rose from his chair and moved to the door. He could feel Quistis's wide-eyed stare following his movements, but right then he could care less. Let her think what she wanted. He was no monster, callous and uncaring like his father wanted him to believe, but he'd taken all he could stand at the moment, and listening to someone else have the luxury of complaining just pissed him off. 

**(End Chapter 12)**

**A/N:** I am so very sorry that it has taken me so long to update this story…. My muses seem to find it amusing to come and go and they please…. My heartfelt apologies to you all! However I have to say that without my Beta Avatar Infidel, this chapter would still be sitting on my computer…. She is truly amazing! I don't think I could do as well without her! Thanks AvI for doing the Beta and for putting up with my endless re writing … sometimes the stories don't go exactly how I plan them too and this chapter certainly shows that…course you got to see the original version and how different it turned out to be… The rest of you can be grateful that she didn't allow me to subject you to substandard drivel. 

Many thanks to all who told me why they like this fic. It was enlightening! Thanks ever so much for your comments and for your praise! I love you guys dearly, if it weren't  for your appreciation I doubt I would have gotten as far as I have. Keep your comments coming and I promise that I will continue writing this story…

Many Regards to you All

Zen


	13. Return to Safe Harbor

**(Chapter 13)**

**Beta'd Version**

Seifer stepped into the hallway, softly shutting the door behind him. His thoughts were a jumble of half-formed insults - all aimed at Quistis. "Just plain stupidity, if you ask me," he muttered as he walked back down the landing.

On reaching Squall's door, Seifer decided to stop being a pussy and go back inside. 'So what if Squall was having a good time with someone else? What did it really matter?' All that mattered was that he _was_ having a good time and not dwelling on things that he shouldn't be.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and was instantly rewarded with one of Squall's fabulous smiles. Even Zell managed a half-hearted grin at his sudden appearance.

Acting as if nothing had happened, Seifer resumed his position behind Squall on the bed. Soon bored of the movie, he rolled over onto his back, sighing slightly as the coolness of the satin soothed his wounds.

This was how things should be…with the exception of Zell's company, of course. He could do without that. Nevertheless, Squall's proximity to him made him feel comfortable and safe. Staring up at the ceiling, Seifer's mind wandered, his eyes eventually falling closed as he began to drift.

Lulled by the darkened room, Seifer replayed the incidents of the last few days over in his mind, feeling a sense of wonder at all that had happened. As the sound of the TV gradually faded away into nothing, he slipped deeper into unconsciousness, and was soon lost to the dreams his mind created - dreams of stormy gray eyes and soft skin brushing over his…

When the last movie had finished, Squall glanced behind him and smiled at what he saw: Seifer was sleeping peacefully with a slight smile on his face. Squall briefly wondered what his friend was dreaming about…but was soon pulled from his musings by Zell moving about the room.

"Sorry man, but I gotta get going. Mom will have my head if I'm not home soon," Zell whispered.

Squall nodded, but couldn't help noticing that Zell seemed in a hurry to leave; he hadn't even mentioned staying the night, which was strange. Although that could probably be chalked up to Seifer's presence, the two of them hadn't gotten off to a good start and it was likely Zell didn't want to push his luck. That was probably for the best. Besides, Zell could stay the night later, after Seifer was a bit more comfortable. They might even decide that they could be friends. Oh, who was he kidding?

Squall helped Zell pick up the movies and put them back into their cases, which he then handed over to his friend, who quickly shoved them into his backpack.

"I'll walk you home," Squall offered, trying to determine what kind of mood Zell was in. Usually he had no problem telling - Zell was always in a good mood - but there was just something off about him tonight. First of all, Mrs. Dincht never yelled at or grounded Zell for being late home from Squall's, and secondly, it was Friday night - Zell didn't have a curfew on Fridays. Squall wanted to ask if something was bothering Zell, but, afraid of waking Seifer, he decided it would be better to wait until they left the room before he delved into the situation.

Zell nodded his head in silent conformation and together they headed for the front door.

The cool night air helped clear Zell's head a little of the confusing thoughts and conflicting emotions that he had been trying to hide all evening and, as Squall fell into step beside him, he could almost pretend that he wasn't losing his best friend. Zell didn't know why he felt that Squall was slipping away from him, but something about the way that he had discovered Seifer in Squall's room had just made him believe that their friendship was never going to be the same. Seifer had looked totally comfortable there, as if he owned the place, and his comments had really pissed Zell off. Though, for Squall's sake, Zell had decided it would be better to pretend to have a good time, than to start a fight with someone who could - and probably would - stomp him into a billion pieces. Why Squall would take up with someone like Seifer was completely beyond his imagination. Squall tended to avoid those types of people, yet there he was with one of them in his house - in his _room_, even.

Zell shook his head and sighed, thinking wasn't helping the situation. Squall had his reasons, however strange or suicidal they seemed to him, and he was his best friend, that, Zell was determined, was not going to change. He would fight for Squall's friendship if he had to.

Zell's super quiet behavior didn't go unnoticed. Squall was more than aware of the silence, and found it a little unnerving that the usually chatty Zell seemed to be lost in thought - yet another clue that things were not as they seemed.

As they neared Zell's house Squall decided to take the bull by the horns and see if he could find out just what was wrong.

"Zell?" he asked quietly, not wanting to startle the blonde boy.

"Huh?"

"What's on your mind? You've been quiet for ages - I can't remember you ever being this quiet. It must be something serious, right?" he said in a rush, wanting to get it out before he lost his nerve. He'd hoped to come across as genuinely concerned, but the words seemed to ring hollow in his own ears. Perhaps it was because, deep down inside, Squall knew what was bothering Zell.

Zell looked at Squall for a long time, trying to decide whether or not to try and put into words exactly what he was feeling, because he wasn't sure if _he_ even knew.

Sighing, he shook his head and smiled. "It's nothing. I guess I'm just tired," he said, deciding that saying something would only worsen the feeling in the pit of his stomach. And besides, Squall would never betray their friendship; it was stupid to think that he would lose him. Seifer's presence was probably just a temporary thing, and getting jealous of him would make it seem like he had some designs on Squall other than friendship - which was just plain weird!

Relieved, Squall smiled back and bid Zell goodnight. They'd been such good friends for so long, that he really didn't want to fight with him about anything, much less Seifer. Hopefully things would die down and the two would somehow get along. Wishful thinking though it was, it eased Squall's mind enough for him to let things go and walk home…

As he walked, his mind was a jumble of half-formed ideas and thoughts about what he could do to help Seifer and Zell get along. Suddenly, Squall realized that he would have to sleep in the same bed with Seifer when he got home. The thought made him stop dead. His eyes widened and his breathing became shallow. His heart began beating wildly like the fluttering wings of a caged bird. His cheeks grew flushed and his palms began to sweat. Fear and desire swept through him, making it hard to just keep standing; icy-cold fingers of dread that raced down his back, while longing formed a lustful heat in his groin.

Why hadn't he thought of it before? Clearly, Seifer had to sleep _somewhere_.

Squall bent forward and placed his sweaty palms on his thighs, trying desperately to ignore the waves of dizziness that threatened to fell him. Nausea came and went as tiny lights danced and flashed behind his closed eyes.

He supposed that he could always try and sleep on the couch…but he didn't like the idea of being out of his room. His room was his sanctuary, and now it was Seifer's too. No one could hurt either of them there. There was no need to be afraid of sharing a bed with Seifer, right? It wasn't as if anything would actually happen.

With this thought, Squall's stomach stopped clenching and his icy chills slowly faded until he was at last able to take a deep breath without fear of passing out. Doing so, he managed to gain enough composure to make it all the way back to his front door.

His hand shook a little as he reentered his house, and he busied himself by turning on the porch light and locking the front door, checking it thrice just to buy himself more time. When there was nothing left to do, Squall stood and stared at the stairs leading up to his room. Part of him wanted nothing more than to run up those stairs and nonchalantly slip into bed with Seifer. The other - irrational - part of him was terrified that, despite what'd happened between them earlier, Seifer would beat the crap out of him for attempting such a thing - or, worse yet, laugh and call him a faggot. The thought was terrifying.

Deep down, Squall knew that Seifer would never be that cruel to him, but then again, hadn't he just been cruel to Zell? The one person Squall cared most about? Clearly, Seifer was capable of being malicious…

Shaking his head, Squall forced such self-destructive thoughts from his mind, and resolutely marched up the stairs. Upon nearing his room, however, his nerve again faltered and he made a detour to the bathroom, deciding that a shower was in order. Squall undressed and turned on the faucets, cursing his cowardice and indecisiveness as he watched the water swirl down the drain. Shutting off the tap, he redressed and walked back to his room.

The light inside was off, but that was okay, for being safely back in the dark confines of his room caused the confusion and desperation that Squall had felt downstairs to melt away, and he was able to walk, not too hesitantly, over to the small bed-side lamp. Switching it on, his gaze fell to the sleeping form it illuminated. In sleep Seifer seemed so different. The hard look he normally wore was softened and the creases furrowed in his brow were gone; he seemed younger somehow, and so much more vulnerable. Squall wondered if his face did the same thing when he was sleeping.

Reaching down he brushed his fingers across Seifer's forehead, smiling when the corners of Seifer's lips lifted slightly. What had he been so afraid of?

Quickly, Squall undressed, dispelling his embarrassment at being naked with Seifer in the room with the thought that Seifer had already seen him naked. He'd seen everything and he hadn't turned away - that was all that mattered.

Squall slipped into his pajama bottoms and climbed slowly onto the bed. The clock read 3:30. Wow! He had taken much longer to get home than he'd thought, but that was okay. Tomorrow was Saturday and with nowhere special to go, he could sleep as long as he wanted…with Seifer lying beside him. Feeling content, Squall switched off the light.

Lying down on his side, Squall was careful not to disturb Seifer. He'd never slept with anyone in his bed before; Zell usually brought a sleeping bag. He closed his eyes and tried to even out his breathing, but when Seifer rolled over and threw his arm across him, his breathing didn't just slow down, it stopped dead, panic washing over him.

Seifer sensed something was not right. His bed seemed way too soft and there appeared to be something moving beside him. Opening his eyes, he realized that his arm wasn't thrown over "something", but, rather, "someone", someone who smelled incredible and needed no introduction; his nose telling him immediately who it was. Smiling, he pulled Squall closer until his chin rested on top of his head. His body molded itself around the other as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and within minutes he drifted back to sleep.

Squall was surprised when Seifer pulled him closer, although he didn't try and struggle; the arm around him felt nice and warm, and the body behind him was certainly pleasant enough, protective and comforting. In fact, he found himself wanting to explore the sensations further, but was stopped from doing so by a big yawn that just about split his face in half. He hadn't been sleeping well lately and Seifer's body was so very warm. It wasn't long before both boys were fast asleep.

Both boys were startled awake the next morning by a loud knock at Squall's door. Squall groaned and tried to bury his head under both Seifer's arm _and _his pillow. Amused, Seifer let him continue this for a moment before nudging him off his arm. Getting up, he went to the door, leaving Squall to snuggle himself further into his satin sheets.

A smiling Laguna greeted him when he opened the door. Seifer quirked an eyebrow and smiled tentatively back, unsure as to what he should do next.

"Squall trying to dig his way to China via his covers again?" Laguna asked, smiling brightly and peering around Seifer to observe Squall.

Seifer couldn't help it, he chuckled; Laguna was a really funny guy - when he wasn't gaping at things he shouldn't be.

"Well, hey, I didn't mean to wake you guys up, but I thought maybe Squall would like to take you to go and get some things. I noticed that you didn't exactly bring a whole lot with you."

Seifer stiffened at the mention of his belongings. Surely Laguna was not so stupid as to send Squall with him to collect some of his stuff. If there was anything he really wanted he'd go and get it himself; there was no way in hell he was taking Squall to the place he laughingly called a home.

Laguna noticed the sudden shift in the boy's demeanor and wondered what it was he'd said to make that happen. Maybe Seifer thought that he was giving him charity? Whatever the reason, Laguna decided he had better make his exit quick before he made the situation worse. Stepping around Seifer, he went over to the bed and gently shook Squall awake.

Seifer didn't want to intrude on their conversation, so he left Squall's room and went into the bathroom. Suddenly the shoe was on the other foot: Quistis stood there as naked as the day she was born. She was so shocked at being walked in on that she forgot the towel she was holding. Seifer, being quicker on his feet and better able to handle the shock, smirked and he let his eyes crawl over her body. He wasn't interested, but the look he received in return made him reel it in fast! Had she really just smiled at him? Backpedaling as fast as he could he slammed the door shut, and practically ran back to Squall's room.

Squall and Laguna both looked up when Seifer flung the bedroom door to. He was flushed and breathing hard, and when he slid down the door to sit on the floor, neither Laguna nor Squall had difficulty surmising what had happened. Laguna burst out laughing while Squall hung his head to hide his amusement.

When Laguna was finally able to control himself, he headed for the door, patting Seifer on the head as he let himself out.

"You walked in on Quisty, didn't you?" Squall asked, trying to control his mirth. "Don't worry about it. Dad and I have always told her to lock the door but she never listens. We've walked in on her lots of times, so don't let it get to you, okay?"

"Quit smiling!" growled Seifer. "This is probably the most mortifying day of my life! She smiled at me! Can you believe that? I'm doing my best to put her off and she…s_miles at me_!"

Squall chuckled slightly and went over to where Seifer was sitting. He squatted down in front of him with his arms wrapped around his knees.

Seifer couldn't help but watch in fascination at Squall's graceful movements, all thoughts of Quistis fading. How could anyone want to hurt Squall? How could he let it continue? The awful revelation that Squall had trusted him with was made all the more shocking by Squall's seeming lack of interest in protecting himself. Well, if Squall wouldn't do it, then, by God, _he _would!

Seifer reached out and brushed away some stray strands of hair that had fallen into Squall's face. His eyes searched for, and found, Squall's stormy gray gaze and, bending forwards, he softly brushed their lips together. Electric tingles shot through Seifer's body at the contact, and his hands moved to cradle the back of Squall's head, urging him closer. Squall unclasped his hands from around his knees and rested them on Seifer's shoulders. The kiss deepened and their tongues wrestled against each other as, once again, Seifer's hands began to roam over Squall's back. This time, however, Squall didn't pull away, instead moving to straddle Seifer's legs between his own.

Not days before, Seifer would've dismissed the idea of Squall sitting in his lap as an impossible dream, but here it was - a reality. He didn't want to push his luck though; having Squall shy from his touch again would hurt him severely. Reluctantly, he pulled back and just wrapped his arms around Squall, pulling him tight into his chest. When Squall finally pulled back, Seifer let him go, although he immediately missed his presence.

"Dad gave me the car keys and his credit card so that I could take you to get some stuff," Squall said, not looking at Seifer.

So that was what Laguna had meant. Not going home to get _his_ stuff but going to buy _new_ stuff! Seifer didn't know what he'd done to get this kind of treatment, but he certainly wasn't going to say no.

He crooked a finger under Squall's chin and tilted his head so that he could look him in the eye. "Okay, let's go."

Seeing that Seifer wasn't angry, Squall immediately brightened and gave Seifer a brilliant smile that he would never forget.

Squall's smile brought an answering quirk to Seifer's lips, and he reached up to pull Squall back into his embrace.

Squall found that he liked being in Seifer's arms; it seemed to him that - as long as he was there - he was safe from anything that life threw at him. Content, Squall snuggled deeper into Seifer's strong embrace and just allowed himself to be held. It didn't matter that they scarcely knew each other; something much deeper connected them both. Something that could be felt but not understood, and Squall could no longer deny that Seifer had awakened in him a sense of self worth, although he couldn't remember when that had happened.

How things had come so far so fast, Squall didn't know. But, after so much had gone wrong in his life, it only seemed logical that, when something finally felt right, he recognized it. Though never in his wildest dreams had he thought that someone could tear down all his defenses in such a short amount of time. Walls that had taken years to develop, built out of pain and necessity, crumbled before Seifer as if they had never existed.

Seifer wrapped his arms tighter around Squall and closed his eyes. Too many things in his life involved violence and hatred, and he didn't know if he had to strength to protect what was happening here. Just what that was, he wasn't sure, but he felt powerless to stop it. Squall roused in him things that he'd thought long dead, feelings and emotions that he hadn't known he possessed.

It'd begun the moment he'd run into him in the hall. Seifer's first thought had been of beauty, and sitting there with Squall holding him, he could almost imagine that he was part of that beauty. Squall had become his anchor, keeping him steady on his path, giving him purpose and meaning where none had existed a few days ago. Was it any wonder he held on so tightly, never wanting to let go? How could he? To let Squall go would be to lose a defining part of himself - one that he had only just discovered…

**A/N:**_ Many Heartfelt Thanks and Gratitude go out to my Beta Avatar Infidel! Everyone who has read the original version of this Chapter will definitely be able to see the difference. Without her, I don't know what I would do. Thanks again Sweetie! You deserve just as much credit for this story as I do. It may have been my idea, but without your input, it would be mediocre at best._


	14. Mall Madness

**A World Apart**

**Chapter 14**

**Mall Madness**

Seifer was quiet as Squall drove to the mall. He turned and looked out of the passenger window, watching the scenery fly by, but not really seeing any of it. His thoughts were a muddled mix of things he wanted to say, but didn't dare; it was too foreign and new to him to put his feelings into words. Having Squall near him helped to quell his feelings of dread and fear, but, deep down inside, he could still feel them lurking around, biding their time until - suddenly - they would rise, unbidden and unwelcome, to drive straight into his heart.

When he was safe in Squall's home, he didn't have to think about what he'd left behind, and it was easy to pretend that things were okay. But, out in the open like this, away from the protective walls of what he'd come to think of as his hiding place, the fear of being discovered and taken away was overwhelming, and, as much as he didn't want to think about it, he did anyway.

Seifer's silence didn't bother Squall, exactly, but he could tell that the other was thinking about something deeply troubling. He didn't want to intrude into those thoughts, knowing how irritating that was; when he himself was lost in introspection, the last thing he wanted was someone trying to drag him out of it. And so, the silence prevailed, each lost deep in their thoughts.

Squall slowed the car as the mall came into view. Turning into the lot, he parked in the first available space and removed the key, then sat, waiting for Seifer to come back to himself. Glancing over, he allowed his gaze to trace Seifer's profile: the blonde, somewhat spiky, hair, with a few errant strands that, no matter what Seifer did, always brushed his forehead; the almost-too-heavy brow that hooded green eyes gracefully adorned with nearly invisible blond eyelashes; and the strong straight nose that tapered down to the graceful curve of the lips that had so confidently kissed him. Slowly, almost unconsciously, Squall's hand reached out to lightly brush along Seifer's jaw line, tracing his fingers over the fine blonde stubble that announced Seifer would have to shave soon.

Seifer turned at the light touch, allowing Squall's fingers to brush over his chin and then trace his lips. He reached up and gathered Squall's hand in his, pressing his lips to his fingertips before smiling slightly. "Sorry, I guess I wandered off," he said, sighing. Then, gently squeezing Squall's hand, he turned to open the door, but was stopped and turned by Squall grasping his shoulder.

Something not quite definable swirled in those stormy gray eyes. One emotion seemed to crash into another, only to be quickly replaced with something else. Seifer cocked his head to the side and lifted an eyebrow in a silent inquiry.

Squall didn't answer with words. Instead, he slowly leaned forward and brushed Seifer's lips with his own, causing pleasant shockwaves to course through his body. Feeling Seifer tremble slightly, he knew that he'd not been alone in that. He pulled back to observe Seifer's face once more and smiled at what he saw there: a slightly goofy expression, along with a blush that seemed to disappear somewhere in his hair.

"Wow," Seifer said, feeling a bit overwhelmed by Squall's actions.

Squall's smile broadened at Seifer's simple exclamation and he got out of the car, again waiting for Seifer to recover enough from his thoughts to join him.

Squall's kiss had sent chills racing through Seifer. Chills that had soon warmed into heated passion that centered directly where Seifer didn't want a reaction. Inwardly he groaned as he pressed his hand against his growing member, trying to silently will it to behave. He took several slow deep breaths and thought about the one thing that always worked to quell such feelings of passion - Rinoa.

The thought of how he'd taken her to that park, lain her down on that blanket, touching and caressing her. Hearing her moans of passion, her shy whisper as she told him she had never been this far with a boy and that she wanted him to be the first. How he'd driven her car up the coast with her hand in his lap, gently teasing him so that it was hard to concentrate, and then spread the blanket on the beach as the sun set. How he'd confided in her that she would be his first and that he was a little afraid of hurting her. Of hearing her soft chuckle and gentle reassurance that he wouldn't, and then her laying him back against the blanket and how she had ever so slowly removed both his and her clothing so that it lay in a jumbled heap in the sand. Of how he had let her take charge, thinking that it would be better for her if she were in control. How he had poured every ounce of his passion into loving her as repeatedly she rode on top of him, taking him to the heights of pleasure that he had never known and thought he would never want again.

And then a few weeks later came the change. It was subtle, at first, an argument here, and an accusation there. Then her outright contempt as she told him the only reason she had been with him in the first place was in the hopes that he would get her pregnant, but that he couldn't even do that right. She had planned to use him against her father.

He remembered everything. How he'd wanted to die at that moment, how used he had felt, and how coldly she announced that if everything had gone as planned, his baby would have been murdered before it could have ever been born. Just so that she could have what she wanted - to go to school in Europe.

A moment later, he sighed as, once again, the mental images did their trick. It wasn't hard to do, the very thought of Rinoa and what they'd done together during that summer not so very long ago, was enough to make him want to be sick.

He scowled and turned to open the door - only to discover Squall's face just inches from his own. The scowl melted away and his shoulders visibly relaxed. The look of concern on Squall's features made him realize that he must have been sitting in the car for quite some time.

"You okay?" Squall asked, hoping deep down that it wasn't because of him that Seifer looked so angry.

Seifer smiled slowly and put his hand on Squall's shoulder. "Hey, I'm alright. I was just thinking about something I shouldn't have been." He paused for a moment, and then, hoping that it would seem as if his parents were the cause of his concern said, "Do you think it's okay for us to be seen out like this? I mean, my parents aren't the best in the world, but they might be looking for me..."

Squall looked into Seifer's eyes for a long time before answering. "Seifer, you're young, strong and fast, I don't think you are going to have any trouble outrunning a psycho like your Dad."

Seifer chuckled and tousled Squall's still messy hair. "Okay, maybe _I_ wouldn't have any trouble, but what about you? I suppose I could just toss you over my shoulder and run like hell." The thought of Squall bouncing around on his shoulder broadened his smile, and the odd look Squall was giving him made him laugh aloud. "What? You don't want to be treated like a sack of potatoes? Or is it that you think I can't do it?"

Squall head jerked up in surprise at the playful tone in Seifer's voice, and he peered into the other boy's face.

_'He wouldn't do it, would he? Just to prove that he could? Uh-oh, I don't like the way that he's looking at me.'_ Squall thought, as his eyes widened and he quickly started to move away.

"No you don't!" Seifer said, exiting the car and reaching out for Squall as he tried to retreat. Grabbing him about the waist, he slung him over his shoulder and bounced him a few times, just to show that he was indeed capable of such a feat.

"No, Seifer! NO! Put me down!" Squall yelled whilst trying to catch his breath from laughing so hard.

Seifer finally complied with Squall's request, sliding the other down his body, inadvertently causing Squall's shirt to ride up over his stomach. Seifer couldn't resist touching the newly bared flesh. His hands were already resting on Squall's back, so it was a simple matter to slowly slide them around his sides to hold Squall's waist. He closed his eyes as he felt the other's breathing speed up a little.

Realizing that he was putting himself back into the situation that he had caused the thoughts of Rinoa, Seifer made himself pull his hands away. Taking a shaky breath, he stepped back from Squall and allowed him to straighten his shirt.

Squall looked up at Seifer, and smiled as it dawned on him that, for a moment, he'd been carefree. It was an incredible feeling. _'So this must be what it feels like to be Zell'_, he thought, as they both turned toward the entrance of the mall…

What they encountered stopped them both cold. Seifer sucked in his breath, and instinct made him clench his fists. Squall, feeling the hostility radiating from Seifer, looked up questioningly at his companion, then back at the girls standing between them and the entrance.

Rinoa's mouth hung open as she stared at them, her brain trying to conceive what her eyes were insisting they had seen. Instinct told her that she wasn't wrong, but rationality argued that what she'd seen couldn't possibly be what was happening. Seifer wasn't gay; he couldn't be, so why in the world had he just been embracing another guy?

For several tense seconds nobody moved, but Rinoa wasn't one to stay still for long. Not only was Seifer acting gay, but he was doing so with the boy that she intended to be her date for the junior prom. Nothing was going to stand in the way of what she wanted. She set her head to the side in what she thought her most disarming pose, and walked towards the boys.

Seifer steeled himself for the coming onslaught; having to deal with Rinoa with his memories of their relationship so fresh in his mind, was the last thing he thought he would have to do. He watched as she moved toward them, and all he could think of was how much he hated her. Seeing her fix her greedy gaze on Squall, Seifer vowed that there was no way in hell that he'd let her get her claws into him, too. He set his features into a scowl, narrowing his eyes as she neared. "What the hell do you want, Rinoa?" Seifer sneered.

"Why, Seifer, don't hate me because we broke up," she said, smiling sweetly up at him for a moment before setting her eyes back on Squall. "I just wanted to talk to your friend here, that's all."

Squall's eyes widened as she looked at him. What did she want? He couldn't remember ever having met her previously, so having this girl want to talk to him was unnerving to say the least.

"I just wanted to ask you if you'd like to go out with me tonight," she asked Squall, putting on her sweetest smile.

Squall just stared at the girl before him.

Seifer's fists clenched tighter at Rinoa's audacity. How dare she ask Squall to go out with her? The idea was just ludicrous! "He's busy!" Seifer said, as he grabbed Squall's arm and moved him around the group of girls.

Rinoa turned to watch them leave, her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed together. How _dare _Seifer take him away! The girls were all looking at her, expecting her to say something, and Rinoa, not being one to disappoint, opened her mouth and shouted loud across the parking lot, her words echoing off the close walls. "SEIFER, YOU GODDAMNED FAGGOT!"

Seifer stopped dead in his tracks, debating whether or not he should walk back and stuff her into the nearest trashcan.

Squall shook his head and tugged on Seifer's sleeve. "Ignore her," he said simply, and together they entered the mall's double doors.

Once inside, the both entered the nearest department store just in case Rinoa and her crew had decided to follow them. When it was obvious that the girls had left, Seifer began to relax a bit. He smiled down at Squall and reached out to squeeze his hand. Squall smiled back and accepted Seifer's offered hand.

The next four hours were spent with Seifer trying on various outfits. Some of them made Squall laugh outright, while others drew approving nods from him. Despite his initial misgivings about the trip, Seifer had a pretty good time, and when Squall decided to try on a few outfits, it was Seifer's turn to look in appreciation at Squall's taste in clothes. He'd never been one to care about what it was he was wearing, but being with Squall, he suddenly decided that perhaps caring about his appearance wasn't such a bad thing.

Squall paid for their purchases with the credit card, and Seifer whistled at the price tag that had come with such fun. He hoped that Laguna wouldn't get mad at how much they had spent. Squall looked up at Seifer after signing his name. "Don't worry so much, Dad already said he didn't care how much I spent. So stop looking like we're about to face the firing squad."

Seifer smirked. "Alright, in that case, why don't we add lunch to the bill?"

Squall nodded, and together they picked up the bags and made their way to the food court. "Do you know what you want?" Squall asked.

"Nothing fancy. Just food." Seifer answered, taking a look around at the tiny restaurants the mall offered.

"Pizza?" Squall offered, hoping like hell that Seifer didn't agree. The thought of all that slimy cheese and tomato sauce made him want to be ill. The only reason he suggested it in the first place was that teenagers tended to consider pizza as its own food group.

Seifer looked down at the slightly disgusted look on Squall's face and chuckled. He wasn't too fond of pizza either, and from the look on Squall's face, it wasn't the other's favorite food. "Yuck!" he exclaimed, making a face, and then smiling out right at the relieved look Squall gave him. "How about Chinese?" he offered. He'd never eaten it, but was always open to new things.

Squall nodded and gave Seifer his bags. While Seifer found a place for them to sit, he ordered them Sweet and Sour Chicken, hoping that Seifer would approve of his choice.

He made his way over to the table that Seifer had chosen for them, and sat the gigantic plates of food down.

Seifer stared at the mountain of chicken and the red sauce that accompanied it in wonder_. 'Good grief,' he thought, 'did they think they were serving starving people?'_

Squall unwrapped his chopsticks and began dipping his chicken into the sauce. Seifer watched him closely, not wanting to make a fool out of himself, but not prepared to admit that he had never used chopsticks before.

Squall noticed Seifer watching him and surmised the reason for the other's hesitance. Not wanting to embarrass him, Squall switched tactics: instead of using the chopsticks as they were intended, he simply began skewering his chicken with one.

Seifer was grateful, but a little embarrassed that Squall knew why he wasn't eating. Hunger soon overwhelmed his pride, however, and, copying Squall's technique, he began skewering his own chicken.

Squall was glad he hadn't ordered anything with noodles, that would've been harder to remedy, although he supposed he'd have just grabbed a couple of forks from one of the other restaurants.

Once Seifer got over his embarrassment, he began to eat with gusto, and, before he realized it, he had devoured all of his chicken. Squall was watching him eat and slid the rest of his chicken over to Seifer, who didn't question why Squall had done so. He simply ate Squall's leftovers.

When he was finished, Seifer pushed away from the table and sighed with satisfaction. Squall smiled at the contented look on his face and finished his drink.

Seifer stretched out his long frame and placed his legs on either side of Squall's under the table. Squall leaned his legs outward and touched Seifer's. Happily, they stayed like that for a while.

Twenty minutes later Squall looked at his watch and decided it was time for them to go home. He stood up and stretched languidly while Seifer eased his 6'2" frame up from the table.

Grabbing their bags, they headed for the doors through which they'd entered. As they made their way toward the parking lot, a police car crawled slowly by them causing Seifer to hold his breath. He could see clearly the officer behind the wheel and could hear his radio. When the vehicle had finally passed, Seifer let out the breath he had been holding, causing Squall to look up at him and nodded knowingly. Heart pounding against his chest, all he wanted to do was make it back to the safety that Squall's house offered, and so they quickly returned to the car and threw their bags into the backseat. Squall started the engine and backed out of the space, trying to keep from speeding out of the parking lot.

Once they were away from the mall and back on the highway, the tension within the car eased, and Seifer felt able to speak again. "I don't know about you, but that scared the shit out of me," he said, willing his heartbeat to slow, and his breathing to regain some sense of composure.

Squall just nodded his head and said nothing. His attention was on the speedometer, and trying to keep his foot from pressing too hard on the gas pedal.

When they finally arrived back at the house, and pulled into the garage, Squall had to will his fingers to let go of the steering wheel; his knuckles were white from gripping it too hard.

Seifer opened the back car door and retrieved their bags, trying to keep his legs and hands from shaking, and together, they closed the garage door, and divided up the bags before heading to the back door.

Once inside, both breathed a sigh of relief. Seeing the police cruiser in the parking lot of the mall was too close for comfort, and had it really put into perspective what they were doing. Seifer was now a runaway. Granted, he was leaving behind a terrible situation, but the authorities might not see things that way, concerned only with the fact that Seifer was a minor who'd had left home without parental permission. If his parents reported him missing, the officers would do their duty and return him to that home.

Squall couldn't let that to happen, not after seeing what living there had done to Seifer; Seifer was better off staying with him. But that brought up the question of whether or not it was really safe for the other to go to school. Wouldn't the authorities look there first? Squall supposed he had better ask his Dad about that; it was certainly something worth asking.

**(End Chapter 14)**

**A/N:** I think I have fallen in love with my Beta Avatar Infidel! You make my stories what they are! I cannot thank you enough!

B/N: Love you too, sweet.


	15. Just Clean Fun

**A World Apart**

**Chapter 15**

**Just Clean Fun**

As they walked up the stairs, Seifer studied Squall's face. The other had been quiet since they'd left the mall, and he was worried that Squall was having second thoughts about him staying there. Squall's reaction to seeing that cop, suggested that he didn't want any trouble, and him being there was just that. If his Mom, or, worse yet, his Dad, turned him in as a runaway, the police would be looking for him. Maybe he should call home and find out for sure? If they'd already reported him as being missing, he'd have to go back; he didn't want Squall or Laguna getting into trouble. If not, well, he'd just stay put. Tell his Mom that he had found some other place to stay for a while. What could it hurt? The most she would do would be cry and ask why he left home. Hell, he'd only been gone for a couple of days - they probably hadn't even missed him yet. The last time he left home, he'd gone to a concert over in the next town and had to stay overnight. He had been worried that he was going to catch hell for it, but it turned out that they hadn't even noticed…

Squall turned on the lamp and sank onto the mattress. Taking a look around his room, he realized that, within just a couple of days, his room looked like it had been hit with a tornado. The television cart was still out of the closet and plugged into the wall, the bed hadn't even been made, and God only knew where his comforter had gone. Two of his canvases leaned against the wall; two sketchbooks on the floor, and his cedar chests were both open and rummaged through, with clothes on the closet floor from this morning's rush to get out the door. He'd never before let his room get in such disarray.

Seifer, still deep in thought about his situation, didn't notice Squall appraising the room. Rather, he just sat on the floor and began dumping out the bags in front of him, so that he could go through them all.

Squall's attention was diverted from taking stock of his room to watch as another disaster area was formed - Seifer was tearing off tags from the clothing and just tossing them into a pile! He didn't bother trying to _fold_ anything, or put the tags into the _trashcan_. For Squall, it was all too much! He got up from the bed and sat down in front of Seifer. When Seifer didn't seem aware of his presence, he put his hands on top of Seifer's to stop them from tearing off the next tag, causing the other to look up questioningly.

"Uhh, what?" said Seifer, genuinely unsure as to what he'd done.

Squall sighed and shook his head; this was going to be interesting. He'd been a neat freak his entire life, whereas Seifer was obviously a typical teenage boy, a whirling dervish hell bent on nothing being in order. Having Seifer live with him, in his room, was definitely going to be difficult, especially since he was somehow picking up the other's bad habits without even realizing it. Two whole days had gone by and he hadn't tidied once! His Dad would be proud!

Squall smiled at the thought; Seifer just looked confused. But, when Squall began folding the clothing that Seifer had heaped into a pile, it dawned on him what was wanted. He glanced quickly around the room and a blush began to color his cheeks. "Oh…sorry. I guess I'm not the best at being neat."

Squall shook his head again and laughed. "Don't be sorry, just help me get it straightened up. I can't live in a mess - it screws up my art. "

Seifer shrugged his shoulders, "Seems to me that your art is just fine, mess or no mess."

Squall stopped in mid-fold. Seifer was right, of course, he hadn't even noticed the mess until now, and it hadn't stopped him from drawing whenever he wanted. He blushed a little, as he remembered the half-finished drawing of Seifer lying on the bed that Zell had interrupted. Feeling a little daring, and not wanting Seifer to feel bad about making a mess, he decided to offer the other some incentive. "I tell you what, Seifer, if you and I get the room done, we can finish the drawing that I started yesterday…only if you want to, of course."

Seifer didn't have to think very hard about what drawing Squall meant. He had thought about that drawing often since they had been interrupted. If Zell hadn't of come over, who knew what might have happened?

Enthusiastically, he nodded and began folding clothes and grabbing hangers from the closet. Squall made the bed, picked up the trash, and marveled at the speed at which Seifer was moving. If he didn't know any better, he would've sworn that Seifer was in a hurry to be posed again. But, then again, he was moving just as fast. Could he be in a hurry to draw him? _'Or just in a hurry to get him naked…? Whoa! Where did that come from?'_ Squall blushed furiously at his thoughts, but with the room clean and there nothing left to do, he realized that he'd soon have to make good his promise.

Seifer was too preoccupied to notice Squall's concerns, caught up in looking at the jungle mural. Squall stood beside him and studied the picture, also. He liked the way that it'd turned out, and the more he looked at the jungle cat, the less hostile and more like Seifer it seemed: beautiful, wild, and dangerous, given the right situation. It even had Seifer's green eyes. Yes, he definitely liked this mural the more he looked at it.

Originally, he'd meant it to depict the dangers that lay outside that door, but with Seifer now in the same room with him, hadn't he just let danger in? Well, maybe not in the sense of mortal danger, but Seifer presented a certain physical danger that Squall was hard pressed to ignore. Was it a smart idea to start thinking of Seifer in a physical way? How about getting involved with him? What would the repercussions of that be? He just didn't know. Maybe in time, he'd understand the implications, but by then it would probably be too late to change anything. The fact that he was attracted to Seifer was obvious, and he knew that the feeling was mutual, so, looking at things from that point of view, what could go wrong?

He'd known he was gay from a very young age, though he hadn't been in any serious relationships. There had been one encounter at summer camp four years ago, but nothing serious had ever developed from it, just a lot of groping and kissing. Promises of phone calls and letters, but it wasn't very surprising to Squall that he'd received neither. So, why was he hesitant about Seifer? One minute it seemed as if he couldn't keep his hands off him, and the next he was having doubts about getting involved. Was it just pure animal attraction? Or did it have to do with the fact that the only sexual experience he'd had was at the hands of Shane…?

Squall tried not to retch. The thought of Shane and what he'd done to him made him sick; there was nothing likable about it. He hated every minute. It was painful and humiliating. Maybe the only thing he wanted from Seifer was to find out if it always hurt. If it did, then maybe he could go on a bit longer. Suffer Shane's humiliation for one more year. But deep down Squall knew that it didn't always hurt, deep down he also knew that Seifer wouldn't allow Shane to continue hurting him. Yet, if he didn't do what Shane wanted, Zell would suffer for it - would Seifer also protect Zell even though it was obvious that they didn't get along?

Seifer knew that Squall was lost to some internal debate. He could tell from the way that Squall's face had clouded over that it wasn't something pleasant, either. He wanted to say something, to remind Squall that whatever he was thinking about was on the outside, and that, here, he was safe from it all. Instead of speaking, however, he wrapped his arms securely around Squall's shoulders, closing his eyes contentedly when Squall's arms came around his waist. He wanted to allow Squall to be able to think in peace, but to also remind him that he was there, that he didn't have to go through his troubles alone anymore. Seifer would protect him from everything, even himself, if he had to.

Seifer knew he was falling for Squall, and that it wouldn't take much more for him to be so far gone that love was all he could see or think about. He wondered if Squall felt the same for him, but didn't ask the question aloud, too fascinated with the concept that he, Seifer Almasy, was falling in love with a boy. He'd never considered the possibility that he was gay, nor had he ever known anyone who was, not surprising given his father's well-known objections to homosexuality. _'Just one more thing __that Dad was wrong about…there's nothing dirty or shameful in what I feel for Squall. Yeah, it's different from what I felt for Rinoa, but only in that it's more intense, more real, and a hell of a lot more appealing!'_

Seifer pulled back a little from Squall so that he could look into his eyes. The cloudy look that he'd seen a few seconds ago was gone, and the tiny smile that he got for his efforts, was, in a word, brilliant.

"Okay now?" Seifer asked, not really wanting to intrude, but needing to know if Squall really was okay. He hated seeing that look on his face, the one that told that there was more to the matter than Squall let on.

Squall nodded and let his arms drop from around Seifer's waist, only to entwine his hand into Seifer's. Gently he tugged Seifer over to the newly made bed, and laid him down on the black satin sheets. His heart was beating fast, but he willed it to slow down as he slipped his hands under Seifer's shirt and slowly pulled it up over the other's chest and head.

It took all of Seifer's willpower to keep his hands to himself. When Squall touched him, he only wanted to return the caresses, but he was a little afraid to, especially having seen the clouded look in Squall's eyes just moments ago. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, knowing that Squall was not finished just yet, and that knowledge brought heat to his groin, his flesh responding to the thought.

Squall smiled slightly when Seifer closed his eyes; he wanted to take his time. Slowly, he ghosted his over Seifer's chest causing his nipples to harden and breath to catch slightly. Sliding his hands down over Seifer's sides, he felt the other flinch, and smiled at the effect, before moving to gently caress Seifer's hard stomach muscles, marveling at the fine blonde hair that trailed down from his navel.

Deftly, Squall unbuttoned Seifer's jeans, pulling the zipper down until he could just see soft golden curls. He allowed his fingers to trail further down and lightly stroke the hardness that apparent through the fabric.

Unable to stand it anymore, Seifer brought his hand down on top of Squall's, pressing it harder against his erection. He heard Squall's sharp intake of breath, but didn't remove his hand. Instead, he opened his eyes and caught Squall's wide and worried gaze. Slowly he began to rock his hips against Squall's hand, his gaze never faltering.

Squall's his tongue darted out to moisten his suddenly too dry lips.

'_Don't think! Just let go! There's no need to question anymore, he wants you, you want him, just go with it!' _he silently berated himself as he gazed into Seifer's passion-lit eyes. A soft moan escaped Seifer's lips and something broke inside Squall. He leaned forward and kissed Seifer, long and lingering, the passion slowly building heat between them both.

Seifer brought his other hand up to entwine his fingers in Squall's silky hair, his parted lips causing Squall's to reflexively open, permitting their tongues to wrestle in a passionate dance.

Squall's slid his hand upwards, unzipping Seifer's pants the rest of the way, before reaching inside to release Seifer's aching erection from the tight confines of his jeans. Leisurely, he began stroking the hard, hot flesh, making Seifer moan.

Squall broke the kiss and stared down at Seifer as he stroked the other's hardness, watching his breath as it came faster and faster, beads of sweat gathering on his forehead.

Not having anything else to do with his hands, Seifer gripped the satin sheets as Squall worked his erection, his eyes falling closed as he began rocking his hips with the motion of Squall's hand. Yet, just when he thought he'd go over the edge, Squall stopped, leaving Seifer's aching flesh begging for release. Concerned, Seifer opened his eyes to be sure Squall wasn't upset, instead seeing Squall's naked chest as he removed his shirt. He started to sit up so that he could help, but Squall firmly planted his palm on his torso, pushing him back down onto the bed.

Squall stood up, his shirt still in his hand, swiftly moving to the door and locking it, before turning back to Seifer. Seeing him lying there on his bed with his hands entwined in the satin sheets, erection standing bold and straight, gave Squall a sudden feeling of power. This wasn't like Shane at all - _he_ was the one in control. He smirked and let his shirt fall to the floor, running his hands over his own body as Seifer's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. Squall unbuttoned his jeans and pulled down the zipper to reveal his dark pubic hair, smiling in satisfaction as Seifer's erection twitched of its own volition, pearls of fluid beginning to glisten in the lamplight.

Torturously slow, Squall began to lower his jeans until his own straining erection was revealed. Seifer's eyes widened and his hands gripped the sheets a little tighter as Squall got onto his knees to pull Seifer's pants all the way off. These he tossed into the corner of the room, not caring that they had just cleaned.

Squall ran his hands over Seifer's naked legs, and to the other's amazement, leaned over and engulfed his erection between his lips. Rinoa had never done this to him, so he wasn't prepared for the instant heat and moist pressure of Squall's tongue that made him arch his back, suck in his breath, and moan Squall's name.

Squall swirled his tongue around the hard shaft, lubricating it. When it was sufficiently wet, he pulled away, sliding his naked body across Seifer's until he was straddling his hips. Seifer's hands left the sheets and came to rest on Squall's hips as he began to, ever so slowly, lower himself onto Seifer's shaft.

Seifer felt Squall's tight opening begin to stretch to allow him entrance. He was being sheathed in Squall's heat, a little at a time; it was the most pleasurable torture he had even endured.

Heat flushed Squall's cheeks and sweat beaded on his forehead as Seifer's shaft invaded his body, much thicker than Shane's. Still, Squall was determined that he was going to do this; all the pain and humiliation that he suffered at the hands of Shane would disappear if he could. It wasn't wishful thinking on his part; it was something that he just knew.

Seifer's hands urged him deeper by gently rocking him and raising his hips. Finally, with a slight burning sensation he felt Seifer sink to the hilt within his body. Head hung over, Squall's breath came in short gasps, sweat standing out on his body as it adjusted to the invasion.

Suddenly, he felt Seifer's arms around him, just holding him. _'He must have sat up,'_ he thought, but his coherence soon vanished as Seifer began to rock his hips. Sensations that he'd never felt with Shane began washing over him until he finally pushed Seifer back down onto the bed, placing his hands on his lover's shoulders to get better leverage with which to ride the waves of passion he was experiencing.

Seifer was in ecstasy. Although he wanted to take things slow for Squall's sake, apparently, Squall had other ideas, and, pushed backward into the mattress, it was suddenly as if the world were on fire. Without thought, his hands found Squall's hips again, and he urged him to move faster. Squall complied willingly and wave after wave of sheer pleasure washed over him. He could hear Squall moaning his passion and he found himself answering that passion with cries of his own as bright pinpricks of light began to form in his vision. With a final cry, he emptied his seed within Squall's depths, and he felt Squall's own hot, sticky fluid jet repeatedly onto his stomach.

Squall shook his sweat-dampened hair out of his face, still breathing hard. When he had regained some control over his breathing he leaned over and kissed Seifer slowly, letting the waves of spent passion recede. Seifer's arms encircled Squall and cradled him until he felt himself slip from Squall's entrance.

For a while, they stayed like that, each unwilling to let the other go, but soon the drying evidence of their passion became too much of an irritant to ignore. Squall got up and stretched languidly, the sight of his perfect body causing Seifer to become instantly hard again. He noticed and smiled.

"Down boy. Shower first, then maybe later," he teased, making Seifer blush a little.

Squall put on a robe from the closet and tossed another one at Seifer, who just raised an eyebrow. "Uhh, Squall? I don't think this is going to fit me."

"So just put it around your waist," Squall replied sagely as he opened his door a crack, peering left then right. "Okay, the coast is clear," he said and held out his hand for Seifer to take.

'_Is he being serious? He wants to shower together?'_ thought Seifer as he took Squall's hand. With all the trouble he'd had with Squall's bathroom, and people walking in, he didn't know if he wanted to take the chance.

Squall, however, didn't wait, pulling Seifer out of the room, down the hall and into the bathroom before Seifer had a chance to protest.

Once inside, Squall locked the door and began to run the shower. All of Seifer's protests went out the window when the robe Squall was wearing came sliding off. Without thinking, he followed Squall into the hot shower…and immediately regretted it. The hot water stung and burned his abused flesh. He sucked in his breath, forgetting about his thoughts of Squall's body and becoming focused on his own.

Squall hurriedly turned and lowered the water's temperature. He felt like an idiot to have forgotten his own warning about hot water. "God Seifer! I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking."

Seifer just shook his head and held a finger to Squall's lips. He didn't want anyone passing to hear Squall talking to someone with the shower running, that would raise too many questions. Besides, the lower water temperature had already soothed away the heat on his skin, and Seifer was beginning to enjoy having Squall this close, this naked, and this wet!

Squall carefully wrapped his arms around Seifer, squeezing him gently in apology. He hated what had been done to Seifer and couldn't wait until all traces of the abuse disappeared; then they wouldn't have to be so careful with everything.

Seifer smirked and backed Squall up under the spray of the shower. He knew that Squall felt bad, but he had an idea that would make him forget. He pushed Squall's wet hair out of his face and kissed his lips.

Squall's arms came up to rest on Seifer's shoulders and he allowed the kiss to deepen. This moment was what it had all been leading to. There'd been attraction from the first moment they had met, and it wasn't just a fleeting feeling. It had been extremely strong, and mutual, and now that he had Seifer here, Squall never wanted him to leave.

When Seifer picked him up, he almost panicked, but with Seifer's tongue now wrestling with his, Squall's anxiety quickly subsided. Seifer urged Squall's legs to wrap around his waist as he turned to lean Squall's back against the shower wall. Squall could feel Seifer's hard length begging entrance at his opening and he allowed the head to sink inside, causing him to moan into Seifer's mouth. Seifer responded by lowering him fully onto his hard shaft.

Squall was instantly in ecstasy as Seifer began to bounce him up and down, hard and fast. His moans increased in volume until not even Seifer's kisses could quiet him, because Seifer's erection was hitting something deep inside him that was sending shockwaves of pleasure through his body. Squall knew at this rate he wouldn't be able to hold off his orgasm for much longer, and maybe that was what Seifer had intended all along. Sighing in pleasure, he wrapped his legs tighter around Seifer's waist as he felt his orgasm ripping without warning through his body.

It took all of Seifer's willpower not to cry out as he felt Squall's tightness increase with orgasm, triggering his own release. He held Squall tightly as his body went into overdrive, chasing his orgasm with wave after wave of pleasure. Finally, he couldn't take anymore, and, arms aching from the exertion, knees weak and shaky, he allowed Squall to slide down his body.

A sudden knock at the door made Seifer freeze with his arms still around Squall's back, the irrational urge to laugh nearly overwhelming him.

"What? I'm in the damn shower! What do you want?" yelled Squall over Seifer's shoulder. Seifer clamped his hand over his mouth in a bid to contain his laughter. Squall sounded so serious, but he was smiling at Seifer as he said it.

"The phone is for you!" came Quistis's voice.

"Hang on!" Squall said, hastily turning off the shower and wrapping a towel around his waist, not bothering with the robe he had worn in. He brought a finger to his lips and stepped out of the shower, pulling the curtain back into place. Seifer heard him open the door.

"The bathroom is off limits! As soon as I'm off the phone I'm finishing my shower!" Squall said, looking Quistis in the eye and trying to ascertain whether or not she had heard anything.

"Whatever, Squall. I'm going out anyway, so please, don't let me keep you from your precious shower," she said sarcastically.

Squall watched her walk away, still unsure if she'd heard them. _'So what?'_ he thought.Was it really any of her business what went on behind closed doors? He shrugged, deciding that even if she had heard, he didn't really care. He hadn't felt this good, this alive, since his mother had died.

As soon as Quistis had walked down the stairs, he motioned for Seifer to leave. Seifer stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist, and hurried past Squall to his bedroom.

Squall strolled in after Seifer and shut the door behind him. He leaned against the door for a moment, watching as Seifer bent over to pick up the jeans he'd been wearing. Smiling wickedly, Squall whipped off the towel adorning Seifer's waist and wrapped it around his shoulders, leaving Seifer standing there as naked as the day he was born. Seifer put his hands on his hips and glared in mock outrage at Squall, then smiled and shook his head. Squall sauntered past him still wearing both towels and reached for the phone.

"Hello?"

**(End Chapter 15)**


	16. Chinese Menu: Confounded Chicken

**A World Apart**

**Chapter 16**

**Chinese Menu: Confounded Chicken**

"Hey man! It's Zell. I was just wondering if maybe you would like to go to the movies with me. There's a great action flick playing over at the cinema."

"Movies? Oh, I don't know Zell," Squall said quietly.

"Please? I know I'm asking a lot, but I really want to see this movie and it won't be any fun without you there."

Squall sighed heavily. He knew that the theater was going to be packed and there was also Seifer to consider. But Zell asked so little of him and put up with so much that it would be a near insult if he didn't take him up on his offer.

"Alright Zell. I guess it can't hurt," he said.

"Cool beans man. Be at your house in about five!" he exclaimed enthusiastically.

Seifer raised an eyebrow as Squall hung up the phone. "Movies?" he asked.

"Yeah, Zell wants us to go see this new action flick with him."

"He specifically said both of us?" Seifer asked skeptically.

Squall looked down at the floor a bit sheepishly. "Well, maybe not specifically…" he trailed off.

Seifer shook his head and reached for his pants. "Squall, we didn't exactly hit it off, you know that."

"Yeah, I know, but Seifer… he has been my friend, my _only_ friend, since Kindergarten. I can't turn my back on him just because I found you. Please try to understand that. I know he can be a bit overzealous and even a bit childish, but that's just Zell."

Seifer sighed. "If you think that he isn't going to blow a gasket when you tell him that I am coming too, I will promise to keep my tongue on a leash. But, if he so much as pouts about my coming with you, all bets are off!"

Squall smiled in spite of himself. "Seifer, he might be a bit upset about it, but Zell won't say anything. That's just the kind of person he is. If I want you to come along, then Zell will accept that. No questions asked."

Seifer wasn't so sure about the no questions asked part. He saw Zell a bit differently than Squall. In his minds eye, he was almost sure that Zell had been jealous, and if that was the case, things may not go over as smoothly as Squall thought they would.

Zell's frenzied knocking on the bedroom door startled the boys into action. Seifer quickly slid on the pair of jeans he had been holding, all the while smirking at Squall's frantic efforts to do the same. He wanted to laugh out loud as Squall hopped over to the door, quickly buttoning the top button of his jeans before turning the knob.

"Hey man! What took you so long to answer the door?" said Zell as he filled the doorway with his boisterous presence.

"Uh… I was in the closet," muttered Squall, taking a quick peek at Seifer to make sure he was at least presentable. To his surprise, Seifer was doubled over laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny?" asked Squall

Seifer waved his hand at Squall, tears streaming down his face. "Nothing… nothing, don't worry about it."

Squall quirked an eyebrow and shook his head, as he moved out of the way for Zell to come further into the room.

Zell cast a confused look at Squall then at Seifer guessing he had just missed the joke, but felt better knowing that apparently Squall didn't get it either, until suddenly Squall jerked up his head and blushed furiously at Seifer, which made Seifer erupt into a fresh bout of hysterics.

Zell scratched his head, amused by the chagrined look on Squall's face. It wasn't often that someone got to laugh at Squall's expense, and what made the event even more special was that for once, Squall wore an expression other than bored indifference. This, more than made up for the fact that Zell hadn't gotten the joke.

Quisty sat behind the wheel of the car thinking about what she had heard upstairs. Either Squall was having way too much fun with Rosie Palm and her five sisters, or he had been having sex with someone, and the only other person in the house was their strange houseguest.

Could it be that she had misjudged Squall all of these years and the reason he acted the way that he did was because he's gay? It would certainly explain a lot about his behavior, and why she had never heard of him having a girlfriend. She had always assumed that he had one but was just quiet about it, like everything else in his life. That just didn't seem to be the case anymore. She made a mental note to watch their behavior more closely. Maybe she could confirm her suspicions.

The boys arrived at the multiplex cinema and Seifer was as good as his word, he hadn't said one sarcastic comment to Zell the entire way. Zell had been busy talking non-stop about a show he had seen on the History Channel about the Spartans and their sexual practices. Seifer snorted contemptuously on several points but remained silent. Squall nodded appropriately though his thoughts were not on the subject. He was worried about how things were going to work out. So far everything was okay, but that could change in a moments notice.

They got in line at the ticket booth and bought their tickets for the next showing and stepped inside the lobby. They had made good time getting here and didn't have to wait long before the line started to form for the movie that they were here to see.

All three boys were quiet as they entered the dimly lit room. They chose seats in the middle row, Seifer and Zell sitting on either side of Squall.

Seifer grimaced and pried his foot off the sticky floor. "Hey Squall, ever wonder just what makes these floors so sticky?"

Squall chuckled and without missing a beat said, "Must be all those triple X midnight shows that no one ever admits going to."

Zell quirked an eyebrow, "They have those here?" he asked innocently, which sent both Seifer and Squall off into hysterics.

Zell scratched his head and wondered what he had said that was so funny. He shrugged his shoulders as the lights dimmed and the audience quieted.

The THX logo appeared on the screen along with the words, "The Audience is Now Listening". Seifer stuck finger in his ear, and muttered to Squall, "No, the audience is now deaf!"

This caused Squall to giggle softly in appreciation of the jest, and he reached over for Seifer's hand, which he held loosely in his own, his thumb stroking the tender flesh between Seifer's thumb and forefinger.

A preview appeared on the screen that caused Zell to sit forward with interest. After a huge explosion rocked the theater, Zell smiled widely. He turned halfway in his seat toward Squall. "I can't wait for Thanksgiving! I really want to see that!"

As Squall turned toward Zell, a new preview appeared which illuminated the fact that Squall was holding Seifer's hand. Zell's eyebrows drew together in a look of confusion making him miss what Squall said in reply. He was stunned, and an unfamiliar feeling knotted in his stomach. His palms began to sweat and his heart rate accelerated. His breathing became quick and shallow and the sting of tears burned his eyes. He didn't know what was happening.

"I'm going to go get some popcorn," he mumbled not caring if he had been heard or not.

Squall raised an eyebrow and watched Zell move out of the isle. He hadn't looked to well. Was he feeling sick? He glanced down and realized what Zell had seen. Fear, unbidden and unwelcome squeezed his intestines into knots. He hadn't wanted to have to explain to Zell so soon, but now he had no choice. He squeezed Seifer's hand once before letting go.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom, be right back," he said as lightly as he could.

Walking quickly he left the theater and scanned the lobby for Zell. He found him standing over by the video games just staring off into space.

"Zell, I know you are upset over what you saw but if you let me explain…" he started.

"Explain what Squall?" he said, interrupting him as he folded his arms over his chest.

"Well, you see… I… uhm… well there is no easy way to say this…" Squall desperately searched for the words that would make this all okay.

"Are you gay Squall?" he asked, taking Squall by surprise.

Squall paused and looked down at the floor as he toed the carpet. Finally he looked up at Zell, his eyes pleading for understanding. "Yes, I am."

A look of shock and even more confusion flooded Zell's face.

"Please understand Zell," Squall pleaded. "I know that for the longest time you were my only friend, but Seifer is…"

"Seifer is nothing but a burden on society!" Zell said caustically. Shocking both himself and Squall.

"Zell, you don't even know him! I thought you of all people would be more understanding!"

"Oh, I understand all right, I understand that Seifer Almasy is nothing but a jumped up street punk who will bring you pain and heartache!"

"No, that's not true, he really cares about me," Squall defended.

"Squall, the only thing he cares about is how much he can bleed out of you before dumping you like yesterday garbage!"

Squall's face clouded over and without thinking about it, he drew back his hand and slapped Zell as hard as he could.

Seifer had just exited the theater, wondering what was taking them so long to come back. He walked into the lobby just in time to see Squall slap Zell. A hot knot of anger formed in his chest and his hands balled into fists as he stalked over to where they were standing.

"What seems to be the problem here?" he growled.

Zell spun around, his lips peeled back into a feral snarl, "The only problem here is you asshole!" he spat contemptuously. The bright red handprint Squall had left on his cheek burned and glowed like a neon beacon.

Seifer's lip curled up into a sneer, "What's the matter Chicken Wuss, someone else scratching around in what you consider your yard?" He asked, taking a stab in the dark.

Zell's face burned so brightly that the handprint no longer showed.

Seifer knew he had hit the mark, and his smirk turned darker. "Let me tell you something Chicken, you never had a chance in hell."

"At least I have prospects that don't include a cell-mate named Bubba! You are nothing Almasy! You aren't even fit to lick the shit off Squall shoes!" Zell shrieked, causing people in the lobby to turn and stare at the three of them.

Squall could see several kids from school standing near the concession stand whispering behind their hands and knew that this was going to get really bad, really quick. He had to find a way to get them out of the theater before something was said that would be all over school tomorrow. His life was bad enough without that headache.

Without saying a word, Squall grabbed both blondes by the wrists and dragged them out of the theater. Once they were out of earshot of eavesdroppers, Squall let both of them go. Immediately both Seifer and Zell drew away from each other and squared off. Zell dropped into a karate stance and began bouncing on the balls of his feet. Seifer drew himself up to his full height and glared down at the bouncing blonde.

"Oh look, he's doing the chicken dance!" Seifer jeered as he fisted one hand against his hip. The trench coat billowed out around him in the breeze making him appear even larger and more menacing than he was.

Zell stopped bouncing and clenched his fists in agitation. His whole body shook with anger, "Shut up you muscle bound moron!"

"Would you both just stop!" yelled Squall. He had been watching the whole situation as it escalated out of control. If he didn't stop this now, the two of them would try and kill each other.

Seifer immediately dropped his arms and a guilty expression crossed his face. He knew that this was hurting Squall immensely and he wanted nothing else to do with it.

Zell on the other hand was not about to let this go. Squall was making a huge mistake and he couldn't stand by and let it just happen. As soon as Seifer dropped his fist and relaxed, Zell took the opportunity and did a spinning heel kick which caught Seifer squarely in the chest knocking the bigger blonde to the ground.

"No!" screamed Squall as he moved in front of Seifer's prone form with his hands outstretched towards Zell in an effort to keep him back.

"What the hell are you doing Zell?"

The seed of jealousy that had planted itself in Zell's brain grew to such immense proportions that it overshadowed the friendship that he felt for Squall. "What I am doing is saving you from a life of hell!"

"By doing what Zell? Destroying one of the few good things in my life?" Squall asked quietly.

"No, by taking out the white trash!" he shouted at Squall. "I've only got one thing to say. It's either him or me, your choice!"

Squall couldn't believe what he was hearing. How had this fallen apart so quickly, he knew things weren't going well, but he never imagined that it could go this bad.

He dropped his arms to his sides and hung his head. "Please don't ask me to make that decision. I can't do it. You are my best friend and I don't want to lose your friendship, but Seifer and I …"

"So getting dick is more important?" Zell asked scathingly. He couldn't believe he was saying these things to him, but the words just kept tumbling out of his mouth with no regard to how much it was hurting Squall.

When Squall looked up again, his marvelous stormy eyes were tear washed. "I don't know what you want me to say. I …I'm going home!" Squall threw up his hands in frustration and started walking away from the two embattled blondes.

Seifer rose slowly to his feet and watched as Squall walked away. He turned toward Zell and ran a hand through his golden blonde hair. Taking a deep breath, he let it escape in long sigh trying to ease the urge to hammer him into a grease spot on the sidewalk, "Look Zell, I know we don't like each other very much, but there is one thing we do have in common."

"And just what the hell is that?" Zell barked out angrily.

"We both like and care about Squall." Seifer replied bluntly, as he turned to run after the retreating brunette.

The comment deflated Zell's anger and much to his chagrin, he knew Seifer was right. He also knew that his poor choice of words had probably cost him his best friend. There was no easy way for him to take back what had been said, but maybe if he admitted that he was sorry about it, Squall would forgive him in time.

He kicked a stray leaf in his path and shoved his hands deeper into his pockets. It was going to be a lonely walk home. He already missed Squall's presence, but he knew that it would be best if he let Squall cool off before attempting to apologize. Besides, he had some thinking of his own to do. Seifer made him so crazy. Why? Was it because he was Squall's lover? Was he jealous?

Seifer ran up beside Squall. He wanted to put his arm around him to comfort him, but because he had played a part in the reason for his mood, he didn't know if it would be accepted. He quietly walked beside Squall, hoping that he would say something to break the silence, but to no avail. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his trench coat and lowered his head to watch his feet.

Seifer had a lot of trouble dealing with anger issues in other people, he just didn't know how to handle it. It wasn't that he was afraid of Squall. Should he decide to be violent and vent with his fists, he wouldn't be able to do much damage, but the stony wall of silence he was getting instead scared him more than any beating his sperm donor had ever delivered.

Squall stopped at the corner and waited for the light to change, his emotions were a riot of turmoil. How Zell could have acted like that, he would never know. Zell normally was such an easy-going guy that such an outburst was unthinkable. Maybe he didn't know Zell as well as he had thought. Was Seifer right? Did Zell see him as more than a friend? He had never picked up on anything like that before from Zell, but perhaps since Seifer was an outsider, he could see things clearer than he did. Zell certainly responded to Seifer's accusation of liking him as more than just a friend, and he hadn't denied it either.

Seifer stood behind Squall, not sure if he should tell him that the light had changed. Several times he reached out to touch him, only to draw back his hand. He would have preferred Squall to yell at him, at least then he wouldn't have to guess what he was thinking. Was he going to tell him to leave his house? Had this fight with Zell ruined the fragile bond between them? The thought of having to walk away from Squall hit him like a punch in the stomach. Fear bubbled up from a place he had thought long dead, a place that Squall had reawakened. He reached out one last time and wrapped his long arms around Squall's shoulders, drawing him back against his chest.

"I'm sorry, very sorry," he murmured against Squall's hair. "I didn't mean for that to happen."

Squall was a bit confused at first. Why was Seifer holding onto him? He took pleasure for a moment in the confident strength that held him so securely, but then the softly spoken words sank in.

He turned around in Seifer's embrace so that he could see his face. "Seifer, you don't have to apologize. I'm not mad at you. I'm just frustrated over the way Zell acted. He's never acted like that before."

Relief flooded through Seifer and he tightened his hug before lowering his lips against Squall's kissing him thoroughly. "I am glad you aren't mad at me, but I did tell you that I would keep my tongue on a leash," he whispered as he laid his forehead against Squall's.

"Yeah, but that doesn't count in this case, you were just defending yourself. I can't blame you for that," he sighed.

End Chapter 

**A/N: A huge thank you goes out to Eddie Leonhartslover. Without her this chapter would not have gotten finished. It has been sitting on my computer for quite some time now and even all the lovely reviews that I have gotten did little to inspire its ending. So thank you sweetie, you offered me a leg up when I was bogged down. Flames will be used to singe the hair off my ass. Praises will not have to watch.**


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